The last few days, for me. has been a time of increased self awareness. I don't mean that in the positive sense, although, I know it will have a positive outcome. I have been increasingly aware, of that part of myself, I have been trying to leave by the wayside, my ego. It doesn't want to be left, it wants to be in charge of my life, and especially, my interactions with others.
A little refresher: the ego did not begin as our enemy. It was that part of us that served as our protection when we first were aware of being in fragile bodies. It was the watchful part, designed to keep us out of trouble. We lived in the present, so fear didn't exist. The ego's watchfulness didn't become fear without suggestion from outside. How this happened, we don't know. I imagine much time elapsed between, when the protective watchfulness in the present, became fear of the future, and then fear period.
We do know that this became rich ground for those, who were more dominate, to control those who were less.
The individual in the fragile body gradually forgot who she/he was. With the constant suggestion, that we be afraid and in need of protection, we identified with our ego. The part of us that was only meant to be watchful, a tiny part of our totality, became us.
Our egos have become tyrants and very clever tyrants. Their viciousness is hidden in all forms of judgement and self-righteousness.
Because our egos, who we confuse with ourselves, are fear based, we are very easy to control by those in power. All authority uses ego mechanisms to gain and stay in power. This is a huge fabric interlacing our perception. It is why we don't really 'see'. I just want to address one mechanism in this fabric today, 'the wish to find validation in the world.'
As long as we think that validation can come from outside ourselves we will continue to be slaves to whatever that is. No matter how many accolades we get, no matter how many awards, no matter how many A's, no matter how many people bow down to us, we will still be empty. We will still be alone. We will still be unsatisfied.
Who are we- without our egos? When we take away, all the wish for validation from the world, what is there left?
Those folks, who are in to power and control, have used this vulnerability to control every aspect of our lives. Do we enjoy the right music? Do we wear the right clothes? Do we drive the right car? Do we live in a nice enough house? Everything, we think and do, is in some way affected by our wish to receive validation from the world. This is not inherently wrong or bad. There is nothing wrong with wanting to belong to the tribe and get the tribes approval.
But when our 'wanting' and 'belonging' comes out of the uncertainty of who we are, we become lost. We may define ourselves by the worlds standards. The world's standards may be corrupt indeed.
We are all on a journey to discover who we are. Let us not get side tracked. No definition of us, that comes from outside ourselves, will fit. And, we don't need to define ourselves. We simply, are.
We cannot avoid knowing we are being crazy when we blindly accept others' opinions of ourselves.Yet, we do it again and again, until something in us tells us, that is enough. It is just too painful! Let's not do it any more. We don't need to travel through the brambles anymore. In the search, for who we are, we don't need to fall in every hole and crawl through every brush pile. Isn't there a gentler path? A path of sweetness and light?
What if we could know the light in the center of our being? What if we were convinced that light was unconditional love?
I think we need to discover Trust. That is another huge subject. Suffice for now; let us accept, we are love. We can trust enough, to give in to the love we are.
When we have those moments, when we sink in to our 'real selves', we see the love around us. We feel the love that wells up in us. We know that we are love. We see everyone is love. Why is it that a second later, because of someone's frown or remark, we can be crawling through the brambles? It is a matter of trust.
Which world is real? The world of love or the illusion we have experienced most of our lives. Can we withdraw our faith in the illusion and take the sweeter path?
I think we can.
Love and Peace, Gregg
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