It is supposed to be below zero for the next three nights. I wonder if this will be the last blast for awhile. As I have mentioned, Winter seems more gripping this year. It isn't by any objective standard. January was more pleasant than usual and although February has been colder than average, it hasn't been horrible, and besides that, we have had little snow to contend with. So, why does it seem to last and last? Must be the state of my mind. I must not be fully accepting it.
When Winter came, we were in the midst of changing things on Laughing Water Farm. Everything was not quite wrapped up with our construction project. We moved the chickens to a new coop. We have an incomplete fencing project. We haven't quite decided on what and how many animals we are going to raise. We want to put in a new berry patch. And.................. now that I am eighty, should I be slowing down or speeding up? Would increasing the size of our flock of sheep be more than I want to deal with?
So winter came, and left all these project, wishes and wants hanging. Perhaps, I need to surrender to what is left of the Winter and enjoy the rest.
Our teachers talk about surrendering to the now. Being in the moment, without thought of the past or future. I think most of us would like to be there. We do achieve that state in meditation. Just before I started writing this blog, I closed my eyes and experienced a period of absolute quiet, a peace with expansiveness. As I write this I can experience it again. Most of us don't seem to be able to maintain that peaceful state for long. Thoughts of the past or future sneak in. Soon a feeling attaches itself to a thought and that attracts all kinds of its friends.
Our minds are greatly attracted to fear thoughts. In the absence of fear is love. Fear thoughts are cleverly disguised. We might not recognize them as fear, until it has a hold on us. We might, idly, wonder, "How cold is it going to get tonight?" Our speculation may appear with the fear of pipes freezing etc.
The concept of living in the 'now' is simple. Doing it is another matter. We must become aware of how our minds attract fear thoughts and learn to let them pass without attaching feelings to them. When we first attempt this discipline, most of us try to block out the thoughts or cut them off at the pass. We set up a conflict in our minds as we attempt to fight negative thinking. Eventually, we learn that we can't resist the thoughts. we must let them pass through our minds with a minimum of attention. Just watch them float in and float through. We may observe [if it were in words], "My, that is a negative thought". and just let it go without attaching feelings.
We don't need to think of the past or future. All real planning is in the 'now'. When I plan my garden. I am now. From experience, I have a probable future. I need no thoughts of fear or anxiety about it. It is not here yet. Fear and anxiety is about a reality that doesn't exist. Having fear about the future destroys our present moment and creates what we do not want.
When we are in the moment, we are in love and we are extending love into the future.
If we are to see, we must give up the past. Thoughts of the past, our resentments, regrets, thoughts of betrayals etc., influence our thoughts, that create our future. We may be perpetuating, exactly what we would like to be rid of, by our preoccupation with the past.
I have been very aware of my need to give up the past. I especially note this in relationships where I may hold unto a judgement that colors my perspective. Resentments can be quite subtle, we can find ourselves being annoyed by something somebody did, even, years ago. When we catch ourselves we can remember we have forgiven them and reaffirm our forgiveness.
Forgiveness has to be a constant, always. Eventually, we will see that we cannot be hurt. We are all great beings of light, temporarily in these bodies, to learn. We are all on a different learning path. We jostle and push one another. Get in each others way. We are offensive and defensive. However, we are innocent in our blindness. There in nothing to forgive, we cannot be hurt, and the perpetrators know not what they do.
I wish I could always remember that everybody is at their core unconditional love. Any slings and arrows, thrown at me, come from the pain they are experiencing. Quickly, I must see how I might have contributed to the event and my response be compassion for both of us.
If I {we} can respond with compassion whenever I {we} feel attacked and focus on the pure energy of love that hides behind the ego we will glimpse peace and may even get our toe in paradise.
Love and Peace, Gregg
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