THINGS HAPPEN

You couldn't get a blog out of me if you had a word crowbar. I am way too preoccupied with my physical condition.

On top of all the other issues I have been dealing with, I got one of my famous, mattress ain't working for me, back pains. After 30+ years my old mattress gave out. I ordered a new one, that didn't work, now this one is going the same way. I ordered a new one. Will arrive Saturday. The first pain was yesterday Morning. I took a chance and slept in my bed last Night. I shouldn't have.

At least I am getting a full refund.

At this point, Friday is iffy.

Love and Peace,  Gregg

SORRY

I was getting a very late start preparing to write my blog, when the door pops open and we have a surprise visit from two of my precious children, Noah and Naomi.

It turned out to be a long, wonderful visit. We are greatly blessed.

I will be here Wednesday.

Love and Peace,  Gregg

PERCEPTION AND ILLUSION

The beauty exploding out my studio window is beyond belief, the lushness, the intense green. I wish I was a poet. One drawback: I glance at my indoor/outdoor thermometer, Outside 88.9, Inside 74.5. I never particular liked using air conditioning, but in this house and in my present condition, I am very grateful for it.

I am much better psychologically since I recognized that I needed to quit perseverating on the future, in one aspect of my life, in which I have no control anyway. I have more to do, but just recognizing the situation helps immensely. I hope to share more about this in the future.

So many of us are able to keep our spirits high, smile laugh and enjoy life. It is quite amazing when we can pull up another shade and see nothing but chaos. If we pull up another shade we see clearly that those in charge are stark raving lunatics. Does it occur to us that we don't need to pull up those shades?

Ah............... Perception and Illusion.

It was taught by ancient philosophers that every thing we think of as solid was energy held in form by our perception. Our thoughts shaped energy into form. Modern science [quantum physics] appears to agree.

Many of us on our various spiritual paths have accepted this as true.

It just takes a little assessment of our own lives to realize our darkness increases when we focus on it.

If we create reality with our perception, the solution is simple and elegant. Only hold in our mind what we want to see. Let us help ourselves by raising the shades on the windows that bless us with golden light.

I know all the difficulties that arise after making the intent. The forces for separation are powerful indeed. We have a Loving Universe behind us. We cannot fail.

I wish I could put names on those ancient Greek philosophers. I think I read the whole Mentor series on philosophy, mostly while standing guard duty in the Air Force. That was 64 or 65 yeas ago. I didn't think I would ever be writing a blog and want to remember.

More and more people are choosing not to look into the darkness. When we choose to look only at the light we become beacons and aid everyone. We are changing the world.

And so goes The Awakening!

Happy Friday everyone! Celebrate the light!

Love and Peace, Gregg

SURRENDER

Someone who read my last two blogs maybe thinking, “I wonder how the old Fart is.” Well the old Fart is rumbling through life, one day at a time, I think I am making slow, very slow progress.

One of my readers blessed me with the comment, “I hope you find your surrender.” I have done this before in my life where I need to give up a bit of paranoia or idea of the future before I will again experience peace. I can be staring it right in the face and not do what I need to do. Or I can misinterpret it as something other than surrender. I know what it is, and it is not a situation I want to write about today.

One of the great gifts of the last hundred years is the Serenity prayer popularized by AA. It has been chopped and abbreviated but the message is always solid. I didn't know which version that floated through my mind was the original, so I looked it up. None of them were.

I was surprised it was written by Reinhold Niebuhr.

It goes: “God give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.”

I never get over the power of that prayer. World peace would descend upon Earth overnight if everyone could hold it in their minds for a few minutes and feel the depths of its meaning.

It is easier to learn to surrender if you know, to what. Ram Dass makes it sound so easy. He can picture his spiritual teacher, the Maharaj-ji and peace descends. I am convinced we can all do this. All religions have some figure or essence that creates a path to surrender. In Christianity it is Jesus.

It is so awful to hold a little fear of the future in our mind that blocks the immersion of the present, where all love, joy and peace reside.

The methods for staying in the present are simple, perhaps I should write a blog on the subject, I learn from repeated failure. But in the end, “We all need a little help from our friends.”

Love and Peace, Gregg

MALADY II

I have been sitting at my computer, sometimes asleep, struggling with what I should write about. I pretty much decided to say, no blog explain Wednesday, I changed my mind and decided to explain now.

It is the malady. The doctor said I was down a whole gram of iron. We explored the possibilities. There was no evidence of internal bleeding. No evidence of infection. We didn't discuss vampires.

He went over everything. He said we could do some body scanning right now or add iron to my vitamin regimen and check back in a month. He suggested I take my iron with orange juice every Morning.

The weakness that is expressed in my cardiovascular and neuromuscular systems are bad enough. It is my state of mind that is the worse problem. I am flooded with negative thoughts and fantasies. One would think they would be of my upcoming death or the possible return of my cancer, oh no it is garbage. I sometimes worry about how I hurt somebodies feelings fifty years ago. Something that was resolved and I had forgiven myself for, I had a few of those.

A few weeks ago I could close my eyes, empty my mind and seek a place where I could bask in the golden light of our Creators Mind. Oh, how I miss that.

Most of the negativity rides on fantasies that enter my mind quietly. For some reason I don't catch them as I used too. I have relatively good moments when I am sitting comfortably in my chair and I am able to keep my mind clear.

I have such an unshakeable belief that there are no accidents and every experience is for our learning and becoming closer to Oneness that I get some comfort.

I have great compassion for those who suffer with a problem like this, who feel only emptiness or futility when they seek a way out.

I am glad I chose to write. It helps

I know I am surrounded by Unconditional Love.

Love and Peace, Gregg

THE MALADY

207 PM and I have just began to put words up on the screen. I have been slow all Morning mostly from this malady that has had me in its grip for these last few weeks, but also from the heat. We are not used to it, up here in Minnesota land, we had a very cool Spring so far. Yesterday the heat roared in, I think our thermometer read 87F. It reads 86.9 at this moment. It may reach 90.

We could resort to air conditioning, but I hate to jump from furnace to A/C without a full windows open opportunity in between. My favorite time of the year is when we can have the windows all open and we can enjoy the fresh breeze. We haven't had a chance to experiment in this house; which windows give the best ventilation, which can be left open at night etc.? I left a window open last Night in my study and it blew some stuff around, no big deal.

I don't have a blog in me, at least if you are thinking of one with much up lifting. This malady seems to have wiped away the wall between emotionalism and physicality. My mood and thoughts seem to affect my shortness of breath, the difficulty I have getting out of chairs, whether I am wobbly or not walking, everything.

If I can be disciplined enough to keep negativity out of my mind it is not so bad, in fact I forget about it for awhile. Keeping the mind clear used to be a practice as in meditation. Now it is an ongoing, daily, life or death struggle.

Perhaps I am readying for the time when we will be able manifest our thoughts directly into form. Who knows?

In any case I can't lose. I can only learn to love more fully. I can only learn the deep significance of forgiveness, and I will especially learn how to keep negativity from my mind.

If you find yourself with some extra energy, I wouldn't mind you sending some my way. I like thoughts and prayers.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Love and Peace, Gregg

ONENESS VERSUS SEPARATION

I still look at the Evening News. I know it is not a good idea for my consciousness, but I am so curious about how people explain things. I see an ongoing description of the darkness that has risen to the surface. The war is between those who would want the continuation of the darkness and those who seek love and peace. The media gets more attention selling their products when they promote the dark so it often slants in that direction. However, if you are a keen observer, you will see the emergence of the light.

Although, it is mainly just chaotic, one can sense a war going on. I can think of many ways of describing it, but for today I settle on “a war between Separation and Oneness”.

This is the basic ego struggle, I versus the rest. The ego hates Oneness, it leads to peace, love and joy. The ego wants you to feel alone locked up in your psychic castle surrounded by a moat. The ego has no power of its own, it gets its power from us whenever we fall for one of its whiles. The ego's power is the fear that it can engender. The base line: Love versus Fear, or it can be stated, Oneness versus Separation.

With observation and intent, love always wins. That's the good news. The not so good news is that the ego can drag us through the brambly bushes until we correctly observe and form our intent.

I don't know how the rest of you folks are doing in this regard. My ego has been creating an onslaught of negativity. It is very subtle and fortunately I am learning from it without the brambly bush experience.

An example: I spotted my neighbor walking outside and thoughts came to my mind about him that were petty and nonsense. About the second time I met him he said something my ego reacted to. My judgmental ears popped out of the side of my head and I began to look for confirmation of that first idea. I don't know what he said that triggered my ego. It was probably something so mild that on any other day I might not have noticed. We have to be very careful that one small, seemingly inconsequential judgement, doesn't grow. Once a judgement gets lodged in the mind we automatically look for more things to reinforce the original. I have forgiven myself for this and I am sure it is past. I greatly enjoy my neighbor and I love him.

I don't know if the war between Separation and Oneness is being manifest in the individual mind in all kinds of subtle ways or not. Those lucky enough to live in an Ashram maybe be free of this temptation, but I think not.

Well, we need to be observant to what our egos are up to and dismiss their thoughts as they arise.

The light is growing, a new world is emerging.

Have a great Wednesday!

Love and Peace, Gregg

A DREAM

A rainy Monday and only 53 degrees F. We are still basking in the splendor Of yesterday when it was twenty plus degrees warmer and Sunny. A most gorgeous day!

Do you remember saying to small children when you are helping them get there pants on, “Point your toes, point your toes”? Those words came in to my mind, day before yesterday, when on attempting to don my blue jeans I got my foot jammed in one leg. I must have struggled hard because that foot was stuck to stay. I sat down on the edge of the bed, peeled my pants down to the stuck place, and I had a heck of a time getting my foot unstuck. I succeeded. “Point your toes, point your toes” were again the words that flooded through my mind. This time no problem.

How did this happen? How could a 84 year old man forget how to put on a pair of pants? Galloping senility? Oh well such is life.

Around the same time I had a dream and it came back to me again last Night. Dreams are always hard to remember and describe, but this one in particular as it had no definite structure. It started with looking at a piece of official looking paper with headings. [I could never see what they were]. It had a simple line, “Naomi [my daughter] has something of value at your house.” Later a paper appeared before my eyes saying “You have something of value at Naomi's house.”

These papers did not require a signature but they wanted some kind of acknowledgement. Next phase of the dream I was made aware that everyone had papers. Some people didn't like them and they went to court to have them nullified. The court decided they could do nothing as the papers did not demand anything, create any duty, nor did they impinge any loss or suffering on the holders. All that emanated from them was a wish for acknowledgment.

The dream went on and on. I was an observer and I speculated. Just before I awoke a voice went through my mind [this time my Son Stuart's voice]. “The papers are telling us that we are all connected, we all give and receive from each other. We are all One. It is a gentle reminder to acknowledge that.”

It was a powerful dream. Most of my dreams are a smorgasbord of nonsense.

I hope you are having a Happy Holiday wherever you are.

Love and Peace, Gregg

WHAT AILS ME

What I got caught up in, on Wednesday, was a doctors visit. Most of it was waiting but there was much more discussion than usual. I expected to arrive back home by three instead it was after four thirty. I was too weary to blog.

I have been feeling poorly for a couple weeks. Ever since my healing began in earnest in October I would have setbacks usually just at the point when I was thinking, “Boy, I am finally better!” After a week or so I would recover. The set backs included my total body. I would get out of breath easier. I would have a harder time getting in and out of my chair. I would have a harder time meditating. I would be more wobbly and be more concerned with falling. It is hard to describe but it is as if the neuro-muscular and cardiovascular systems were suddenly weakened.

I usually started to snap out of one of these setbacks in a few days. This time, no. So when I went to the doctor I was still in this funk. The blood test etc. gave plenty of explanation for what I was experiencing but did not pinpoint the problem. I did have a mild anemia with no easy explanation and a drop in my hemoglobin. These could be serious signs. He recommended I take some iron to see if it would pep me up. We explored the possibility of some kind of infection or internal bleeding and came up with nothing.

The doctor, of course, being an oncologist had to bring up the possibility of the cancer returning somewhere else in my body. There is no evidence of the esophageal tumor returning.

Everything that is happening at this moment could correct itself. We decided to wait one month and have the blood test again and if they are still off I will have to have scans completed. I will not wait a month if I don't feel better soon.

I don't know what this means for my future blogging. It sets back my announcement for my entry into the presidential race [just kidding- maybe]. I like all the candidates somewhat and some a great deal. What they have to go through to get to be president! I bet the ones with the greatest potential wouldn't consider it.

I thought I could do all my campaigning without leaving my study and I wouldn't spend a penny. I would begin to write some fiery blogs that folks could not resist passing on. I would portray myself as honestly as possible, warts and all. Lovable, of course. I would soon get the ear of The Media and it would come to me. I would not spend any effort or money on promotion. Other folks could take up the nitty gritty stuff of getting me on the ballot.

Well if I am likeable and knowledgeable enough it could be a sure thing. I could run the country from here too! Well one draw back, as long as we are still in this old age, I would have to dodge the assassins.

You can tell I must be sick allowing an ego dream to escape this mind.

I wish I lived at a place where I could raise some vegetables. Some of the mentors, I seek economic advice from, are seeing catastrophe ahead. You know and I know, we will be okay. We all have the capacity to love ourselves and others. I see love catching on everywhere. No matter what happens we will be able to take care of ourselves and our neighbors. I still would like to grub in the dirt and raise some vegetables.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Love and Peace, Gregg

NO NO BLOG

Hey, I got involved in something that took way more time than I expected. May touch upon it Friday.

Keep loving yourself and everybody body around you!

Love and Peace,  Gregg

TODAY

It is a beautiful Spring Day! Sunny and bright, only 57F but that is a huge improvement over the low of 34F and cloudy of Yesterday.

I think I am going through some kind of evolutionary process. I need to continue to watch my thoughts and forgive and forgive and forgive. Much of the forgiveness is for myself. I wonder how many times we make a silent judgement when an equally silent forgiveness would have sufficed to bring us peace and understanding.

My dreams! They are so convoluted but real. I awake at Night and am not sure immediately that I am not still dreaming. The dreams are not bad dreams. I don't wish I didn't have them, but I am pleased to know they were dreams. I think the dreams create an expectation that I must do something. The disturbing aspect of them is that they are so real, I can't tell them from real life. Of course that raises the question, “Are we dreaming all the time?”

I am out of sync. Our mail comes around 2:30PM. At 1:45 I remembered I had to get a card off to one of my Grandsons. I rushed to get it addressed and got down to the mailbox just before 2PM. The mail was here already. Disappointment! They are never here this early, especially on Monday. Just a few minutes ago, I saw what looked like a mail man coming to the door with a package. I asked him if he was just delivering the mail, he answered in the affirmative. I asked him, “How come there was something in my mail box today? I know I got it Saturday.” He said, “It is probably the new Amazon delivery on Sunday.” That is new to me. I am happy to know my card will go out today.

Slice of life drivel from Gregg Gillett.

And that is all I seem to have. My creative juices are not flowing.

I will continue my day with the intent of making this waking dream as pleasant as possible for myself and those around me. I am going to sit out in the Sun.

Love and Peace, Gregg

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

Good Morning! Yes it it early, 9:29 AM at this moment. This afternoon I will be in the bank taking care of big business. Well not really, small potatoes actually. I have to do some things associated with 'getting your affairs in order'. No I don't have a crystal ball telling me of my demise. I meant to take care of these things months ago. One wants to make it as easy as possible for those left to deal with financial matters.

I don't have anything rising to my mind that I should write about. I am a little preoccupied by a few things I need to do before I leave. My bank is in the county I used to live in and it is fifty miles away [Mora, MN] I don't intend to change. I have great loyalty to that bank. They have been with me through the hard times and the easy times. Now-a-days I can do 99% of my banking from my computer.

By evening we will have a little better idea how the trade war will affect the economy.

I should be back here about 4PM and if there is anything I feel I need to write about I will.

All we can do is just love ourselves and everybody around us, stay in the moment and see only love.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Love and Peace, Gregg

THE STRUGGLE

I have nothing to say! Everything is up in the air! All the decisions made on the world stage appear absolutely nutty. The empire is madly heading for economic destruction while it flirts with war with all its might.

Despite all of this, the enlightenment seems to be on schedule. Last week an ex-rapper appeared on an evening talk show. I think his name was Common. [Okay, I am not up to date on many aspects of our culture]. He was a very engaging person. He was touting a book he wrote that sounded like it advocated the solutions to all our problems was making all our decisions with love. Wow.

Last night, on the same talk show, an actor was touting a book he wrote which seemed to be promoting the idea of getting in touch with ourselves at a soul level. I think it was a story of his own journey of discovering he was a soul immersed in love and not a body.

There is much evidence that folks are paying more and more attention for the need to heal our problems with love.

The dichotomy is getting clearer, were either in the fear basket or the love basket. Like fish we can leap from one to the other. I can tell you first hand the fear basket is awful, awful, awful.

I think there is still a big bunch of people teetering. They want to believe in love, but they are afraid to be fooled. Their lives have been a struggle and it seems so risky to trust that love is the answer. For these folks, two celebrity types promoting love can be a tipping point. [If one of you readers knows the actor/comedian's name please share it]

The rest of us can help by recommitting, as many times as necessary, to live in the moment with love. It can be difficult, part of our minds are attracted to darkness and the darkness can seem so near. I defeat myself by looking at the idiot box. I think I am above being effected negatively, after all, I just want to see how people think. I think it is true that when I am on top of my game I can watch the news without irritation, but lately I have been getting angry. The darkness feeds on our negative energy. If we can't observe it without a negative emotion, best not.

It is certainly best if we just focus on the love that we see around us. We will build a world created by love. Actually, I think it is already here. We just have to find a way to step in. We are all energy dynamos. Let our emissions be Unconditional Love.

Love and Peace, Gregg

WORLD ECONOMICS

I was siting in my easy chair. Sometimes meditating, sometimes dozing off, my usual Morning enjoyment. Once in a while it would cross my mind that this was a blog day. What was I going to write today? Then I remembered the tariff war with China. Had to check the stock market – Dow Jones down over 600- then over 700- now back to 670 or so down.

It sounds like a lot, but as a percentage of the market it isn't. The market has been over-inflated for a long time. It would have to be down well over a thousand to be of any significance. However the significance of this downer is in what it is response to, which is the raising of tariffs on imported goods from China. This mini-market crash is caused by the concern of every major importer and retailer that it will raise the price of everything to the consumer and threaten our fragile recovery.

I have been following the World's economy for years. I got interested about fifty years ago and have been paying attention with various intensity ever since.

American/ Chinese economy is tricky. It is hard to see who benefits most from any changes. When Nixon 'opened' China the greatest resource China had were a billion underemployed people [at least in the capitalistic sense]. American companies salivated and fell over each other to establish factories there. American companies thought there was too big a percentage of their profits going to labor; which created our middle class. At first it looked like a win/win situation as the prices of all those goods made in China were much less. However, it didn't take long for the tuned in folks to know this was at the cost of the middle class. From the late 1970's on the the financial health of the working and middle class got worse, stagnant in many cases.

The powers that be were reluctant to accept they had any blame for the stagnation of the middle class. They pointed to this new service economy which would save us. Never mind that in the early seventies one person could support a large family and send their kids to college. Soon two fully employed parents couldn't keep up. And it got worse and is getting worse. All those supposedly healthy statistics of our present economy are bogus. I can easily punch holes in their claims but that is a different subject.

For the last twenty years there have been attempts to alter our economic relations with China so we could get a better deal. What do you do when they make virtually everything we buy? We forget that it was American companies that started it and are still heavily involved. Any punishment of China therefore is also a loss of money to American corporation and the moneyed class itself. So there was continuous tinkering by the past administrations but great caution to avoid the cliff.

I think the real reason this administration got its undies in a bunch is that there is evidence that the China is winning the war for global control of the economy. The World is tired of the American style of economic bullying and many countries are paying attention to the promise of closer relations with China.

The administration thinks it can force a better deal with China by unleashing the bully. I don't see what side of the bed these folks get up on, but there is no chance we can win an economic war with China. China could concede to save the World economy, but if this is what the administration wants they need to use cookies and cream not bullying.

China is holding all the cards. We better start playing nice or our economy will be in the crapper.

Friday we will have a better picture.

Readers of this blog know that if we eschew all fear and continue to love in the moment we will be okay. More than Okay! Appropriate leadership will arise to steer us to sanity.

Love and Peace, Gregg

CAN WE REGAIN WHAT WE LOST?

From 1975 to 1984 we lived without running water. We had a pump outside the kitchen door and an outdoor toilet at the end of a path some fifty feet away. We had wood stoves for heat and a wood cooking range in the kitchen. I still had a private practice going in the city until 1977 so we kept our electricity hooked up and a telephone. In 1977 I left my practice in the city and we terminated our electricity and telephone. From then on it was kerosene lamps and candles for lighting. We intended to live off our small farm the way the homesteaders did. Someday I may write more extensively about this time, but I bring it up now to help fill out the background on a story I would like to tell.

During this period we attracted many visitors. Despite having no way of communication we had plenty of company. Some people would come for a Morning's visit and stay for the weekend. Others stayed for a week or two. In the Summer we had people camping out in the woods that surrounded our property. We met some wonderful people and sat around the campfire until the light would break many times. We had many long winter stretches alone, of course, but even then we often had company on weekends.

I rejoined the World's work force in the Summer of 1984 and our life changed.

Flash forward to 2002[?]. Jamie was working and I was alone in the house. It was Summer. Two gentlemen came to visit. I knew one of them from those early days. I wasn't sure whether I had met the other before. He identified himself as a Medicine Man.

They must have visited for a couple hours. We settled all the important questions in the world. I noticed, off and on, that the Medicine Man seemed to be doing something with his hands, blocked from my view.

Just before leaving the Medicine Man gave me a braided band of grass about two foot long. He said it was sweet grass and I could put it under my pillow or hang it near my head and it would give me sweet dreams.

I hung it on the edge of a picture in my bedroom. I loved looking at it but can't say it improved my dreams. It may have.

Some sixteen years later we moved here. We gave away the picture the sweet grass hung on and I decided to hang the sweet grass in my new study. I thought it might bring a peaceful aura to my surroundings and it went with the décor.

It hadn't occurred to me that my dreams were work filled and troubled since we moved here. Then I went through my 'mattress week' and they became more troubled.

On the basis of an intuitive flash I moved the sweet grass to my bedroom and hung it on a picture near the head of the bed. My dreams improved and continued to improve. It has been about two weeks now and last Night I had the best sleep I have had since moving here.

We could debate this until the cows come home. I don't want to, I believe we have lost a great deal when we moved from the earth onto our present extensions. We all come from indigenous folks at some point. What did we lose?

One time at the end of a dinner party [I don't remember the conversation], my Grandmother stated we came from “Good Peasant Stock.” I was somewhat taken back by this pronouncement, because the family was more likely to wax eloquently about their important forebears.

I don't know what Grandma had in her mind that day, but I mulled it over and over and I began to love the picture of being a peasant, living on the land self sufficiently, living and loving the rhythm of nature. Peasants had some sense of their indigenous roots and they formed the backbone of the whole society.

I would love to retrieve what we lost. I would love to be able to go through the woods and see a plant and know it would help with a headache or fever. I know our Universe is Unconditionally Loving and Nature as part of it, has a remedy for everything that ails us.

HAPPY FRIDAY FOLKS!

Love and Peace, Gregg

HOW DO WE GET THROUGH IT?

How do we get through it? Despite our belief in a better world just on the horizon, how do we get from here to there without going mad? I haven't seen a crazier World in my 84 years.

I know how you do it. I have been doing it. We have to decide we will only focus on the love around us and dismiss the rest. We start with ourselves by affirming we are loving and deserving beings who are precious to a Loving Universe. It takes work to give up all those old negative programs of self, inculcated from an unfriendly environment. We can do it. As we love ourselves more, we radiate more love around us. Friends and family members note it and respond.

People all over the World are making conscious decisions to see only the Light. When couples, families, and groups make a conscious decision together to bring in the Light it goes much faster than the individual effort. Both work.

It is possible to live in a World of Love and for the most part ignore the nuttiness. We can't deny the existence of the craziness, but we can see it as fear based and unreal. Our relationships can be based on the giving and receiving of thoughts and ideas created with Love.

We are going through a stage where the crumbling of the Old World, created by fear, seems to be exploding with negative energy. It is a last gasp! All of us still have active egos. As long as we are in bodies our egos will have something to say and we must console them and cajole them and reassure them we don't need their guidance. It can be tough though, we were so assured we were on the right path and now we are flooded with doubt.

We will get through it. Back to the basics. Become sensitive to any thought that is diminishing to self and replace it with a loving thought. Spend at least once a day, paying attention only to the moment, see only love. No thoughts of past and none of future. Several short times a day are better than one long period. Everybody is different, however what works for me may not for you.

Fear can take on very attractive packaging, even convincing us it is protecting us. When paranoid thinking creeps in, we know we took in a gift horse. Staying in the moment and seeing only love protects us from most of these errors.

One of the traps we must avoid, is taking the bait, and ranting and railing at the crazy world. Anger and all negative emotion only feed into the craziness. We will learn to confront everything with love. When we know we are love, we can do it.

I had some set-backs on my own path towards Oneness. I have crawled back out of my hole and will talk more about it when it is more of a distant story.

I think our wonderful cleaning lady is about to knock on the door.

Meet me here Friday.

Love and Peace, Gregg

LOVE IS A BETTER IDEA

My mentors encourage me to see a beautiful world just on the horizon. It is a World of Love, Peace and Joy. Everybody has what they need. No more rich or poor. No more haves or have-nots. They say it is becoming visible now and would be seen by most if it wasn't for the Cabal controlled media. We are on the verge of many marvels like free energy which has been repressed. They go on and on spinning their picture of a perfect world.

Oh I believe it! There was a time when I could get into a meditative state where I could see it, perhaps not clearly, but I could experience the brilliant light of this New World.

Looking out my high place I could see the brutality of what we call 'reality' as just an illusion, a vision seen and made without love. I knew nothing made without love was real.

I went through a week to ten days when my energy was low [as described in earlier blogs]. Instead of looking out the penthouse window I became accustomed to looking out the third and fourth level windows and sometimes even trying to peek though the crack in the basement level.

Wow! What we think of 'reality' is a horrible thing! The idea that a society can exist where the very first thought is not, “How we can best care for and love each other.” And we have been in this craziness for centuries, eons.

It seems so simple. Even our most clumsy attempts at correcting the mess would be far better than what we have now, if we simply began with the idea of making the most loving decision we could for every problem. We might fumble and make errors but the light would shine through and we would be joined by the best and the brightest.

I can't say the descent down the tower was pleasant and I don't want to do it again. At first I claw my way back up, and then when I can, I float back up on a meditative wave. However, I am not firmly established in the penthouse. Boy, do I have to watch my thoughts. I need to keep re-committing myself to having only loving thoughts. I am constantly reminded of how I create my experience by bringing a thought from outside my being and embracing it. I can be flooded with negative thoughts and they have no effect if I don't embrace them. I can let them float away without harm. It is my mind, I get to decide what lives there. Of course it helps to acknowledge I share my mind with Mother/Father God.

Yes! I can see my mentors are right when I can poke my nose out a high window. There is a mass awakening taking place. People are waking up to the simple conclusion that love is a better idea.

Imagine how simple. LOVE IS A BETTER IDEA.

Love and Peace, Gregg

TAKING CARE

Good Morning! It is just a shade past 8:30 AM and it seems strange to blog. I might have bit off more than I can chew or write. I decided to blog early because my Daughters, Laura and Naomi, are arriving at Noon to help with some estate planning.

It occurred to me, in one of my spurts of responsible thinking, that Jamie might need help with financial and other matters if I suddenly dropped dead. I certainly don't expect it to happen but folks my age can depart the planet with little warning.

In any case we should have a nice visit and get some work done.

I need to write this blog and go to the grocery store and be back here by 11:30 AM.

I am feeling much better. I more or less got a handle on things. I don't know if it was because of the lack of good sleep or the mini-sun stroke or what, but I discovered I was choosing fear thoughts over love on a regular basis. I was having trouble meditating and getting to that loving spot I had become familiar with.

The ego can be extremely tricky. It can invite you to have a fear thought and disguise it it as simple evaluation of realty. For example, Jamie made some real improvement in her condition, instead of celebratory thoughts I chose thoughts of caution that were thinly disguised beliefs that thing wouldn't get better. In other areas of my life like my own health I was also choosing negativity. I have been around the block for 84 years waltzing and dancing with this ego. I don't easily get seduced into making negative thought choices.

No wonder I couldn't meditate as I was used to. It is getting better. I am having an excellent Morning, although in some ways it seems like I am back in grade school when I thought I was a post-graduate student.

This is an excellent subject, how we can let our egos deny the increasing love around us? Egos are terrified of love, although I think they calm down if treated tenderly like a tantruming child. I was telling mine that I won't forget it as we merge into oneness. They need to be thanked for the eons they protected us from danger to our bodies.

The love is increasing all around us. Expect ego flare-ups. Don't let them get you down. No matter what the crazy thoughts you may endure or even indulge, just forgive yourself and move on. Nothing but love is real. Don't waste time criticizing yourself. Anything but love is meaningless.

Let us continue focusing on the love we see and ask the Loving Universe to expand our minds and hearts so we see more.

The real world is breaking through the clouds of illusion. It is Love.

Next week I will expand on this topic and share more of my personal journey.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Love and Peace, Gregg

CRAZIER THAN A SEWING NEEDLE

Life can be weird. The Saturday before Easter it was Sunny and hot. I sat out most of the day in the Sun. It crossed my mind I might be overdoing it. I was fine Easter but Monday I began to feel washed out and drained of energy. [That began my mattress saga and sleep deprivation] I think I got a little Sun stroke. I have had that happen by being out in Sun too long before. I always recovered in a day. Of course I didn't have the sleep deprivation and I wasn't 84 years old.

I am getting better. It is disturbing because it seems to set me back in my recovery process. I have big dreams of being able to get up in the Morning and walk to the station store to get the paper. Every time I am on the verge of it something happens. Last time it was a snowstorm before that it was something else. I have had set-backs in my recovery before but I thought I was over them.

I have been practicing being in the moment and loving it. I got to the point where I could deal with ups and downs of my surroundings and stay loving and centered. Suddenly that is more difficult. I am not surprised because I had too easy a time reaching that space, I figured I had more learning to do.

I don't think there are any accidents. I think I needed to relapse a little to learn what I needed to learn. I was still carrying around a bunch of hidden judgements. I have whole lot of crap that I need to release before I can readily inhabit that unconditionally loving space. I am still crazier than that Sewing Needle on the end of your fishing pole. I don't know why that picture came into my mind. You know the bug called a Sewing Needle? It is like a small dragon fly and for some reason they like sitting on the end of your pole when you are out on the lake. I associate them mostly with my Grandfather. Like me, he had a lot of patience and he loved quiet. We could sit out for hours floating in a boat with the only excitement the Sewing Needles that would come sit on the end of our poles, they preened, some were green and some were golden colored.

Of course I am crazier than the Sewing Needles. They are part of the beauty of the universe. Oh, could I know my part and be that sane!

Well I have to make this blog short. I need to go to the grocery store and get some essentials. I will give you an update on my sanity Friday. I will be blogging early Friday as my afternoon is scheduled.

Love and Peace, Gregg

THE VICTIM CARD

Hey! I had a great idea, writing about how the increasing intensity of the love around us can have a paradoxical affect because our ego's feel threatened. Friday, I said I would be prepared to write about it. I am not. I will be, I can use myself as an example.

I was playing a little three card solitaire. I got a hold of the Victim Card. I held on to it a little too long. Oh, I have a long string of excuses. I didn't have a good week etc. But the Victim Card, what a painful one that is. It might be okay to feel sorry for yourself for a minute or two. I don't know it is not my trip.

We need to take care of ourselves tenderly. We need to acknowledge when things are painful and it is good to weep a few tears for yourself. However, when I was feeling sorry for myself I was not loving myself, I was cutting off the love that was available.

If I am the victim then how am I going to help myself? It is an angry powerless position. There is nothing much worse than feeling angry and powerless, it is the ingredients for rage.

I was standing up to my neck in the swamp of human mis-function and casting my eyes heavenward trying to meditate. I thought I could find that quiet place inside filled with unconditional love.

Fortunately, I can never emerge myself completely into one of these dark places. I didn't quite hear the answer but I felt the Universe's answer in every bone in my body, “Why don't you crawl out of the swamp you old fool!”

Once I started my journey out of the swamp the voice softened and told me to forgive myself and love myself. I begin to feel lighter and feel that Universal Love again. I was told not to remind myself of my errors and watch what strange pools you explore. You have guides.

I imagine I will expand on this experience later.

It is so important that we don't cut off our own love for ourselves. There is no substitute certainly not self pity.

I don't know why I needed to have this lesson. I very rarely feel sorry for myself. Ahh................ perhaps it is because I haven't been as compassionate as I could be to others who have held the Victim Card too long. I have learned! I have learned!

Love yourself my friends. Treat yourself tenderly and with kindness.

I have visited that swamp for you. You don't need to go there. I like to feel one should be able to do it for everybody. We are One. However, while we are separated by these bodies, we will all need to have our individual lessons. Just keep in mind that whenever we get into one of these bad spots, it is just a lesson we chose for our learning. We learn and we see the light again.

Let us keep our eyes on the light and fill every moment with love.

Love and Peace, Gregg

TIRED

My mentors speak of an energy change that is engulfing the world. The energy itself is love and its great increase in intensity. Should be all positive, right? The problem is our egos use fear to guide us and they are terrified they will lose their function. The ego rebels against the love and causes all kind of turmoil for the individual.

Those who are involved in meditation and other spiritual practices pick up the increased activity of their egos and are more or less able to compensate. The majority of people just feel agitated and unsure of their judgements.

The disturbance in the human body can be emotional, psychological or physical. It can express itself as all three, at different times and intensity. I have been going through some of this but I would like to wait until Monday to report more fully on it. I need to learn more about how it effects humanity as a whole besides delve deeper into how it has been effecting me.

Besides that I am too tired. I haven't had a good Night's sleep all week. I hope you won't mind hearing a little bit more of the mattress story.

I mentioned my magical Monday, finding my missing cup and then finding a mattress that seemed ideal and actually getting same day delivery. Well the mattress wasn't quite as ideal as I hoped. Tuesday Morning I had most of the same pains. The pains don't last long and they bother me most when I get up in the Night. I have had these mattress induced pains before, there are several. I will try to describe the one that bothers me the most. Imagine you were walking on a slippery surface, you feel you are about to lose your balance and you compensate by jerking back and it feels like you pulled a muscle behind your ribcage. For awhile after that it hurts when you move a certain way. Usually a sharp pain.

That is the worse pain because it is scary. I get up to pee at Night and I have this sharp pain and it reminds one we have a heart. Although, I know it is not a heart attack, things can wear on one. There are a couple other little pains they all disappear within seconds upon arising.

Well Tuesday I decided my body just hadn't healed yet from the original injury and I thought I would give the mattress another chance.

Wednesday, it might have been a skosh better. There was hope.

Thursday Morning I had endured a miserable Night and decided it was time to get into the plus $1000 dollar mattress club and I went to a real mattress store and bought the firm mattress that I need. It will be delivered Saturday. Two more strange Nights.

The first of those two was last Night and I had hardly a problem. I contemplated for a few seconds on canceling the order and saving $1469.95 [I wasn't going to say just how much I paid- but what the heck].

Even though I seemed to have a fairly good sleep last Night. I am still washed out today. Perhaps, there is tension that keeps the sleep from doing its good purpose.

It would be nice if that mattress could give me a good sleep tonight, I got places to go and people to see tomorrow.

Although these symptoms weighed on me I knew they had to be from the mattress. They were the very same problems I had over thirty years ago when I graduated to a firm mattress. I don't know the brand of that mattress but it sure did well for me over thirty plus years.

I hope you didn't mind hearing more about my mattress saga. When I am this tired I can only report what is in front of me.

Happy Friday!

Send me a Good Night kiss!

Love and Peace, Gregg

A SHORT NOTE

Our cleaning lady changed her schedule and came today instead of yesterday. I could have worked around it and blogged while she was here; vacuum cleaner noise etc, wouldn't disturb me. She speaks in a loud clear voice and she was having a very interesting conversation with Jamie as she went about her cleaning, that wasn't disturbing either, but I wanted to listen. Mainly, however. I am kind of in flux with certain ideas that I would like to write about. Perhaps my head will be clearer on Friday.

By the way, I mentioned that book, “WALKING EACH OTHER HOME” by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush. I am not quite finished, but I can say I highly recommend it.

Love and Peace, Gregg

EASTER MONDAY

HAPPY EASTER MONDAY! We traditionally got today off as school kids. I think the whole society took a breather after going through Lent and the subsequent Easter celebration. The world is quite different now.

I am not going to write much, but I have a couple stories to tell. I am tired today and I will tell you why. When we moved in here I turned over our thirty year old mattress, it was still providing a good Nights sleep. However, on turning it over I discovered ridges as if the springs had begun to press out the bottom, but I could sleep between the ridges or even on them, I thought the pressure of my body would correct the problem. We moved in here on September 15 so I have been sleeping on this funny mattress for awhile.

In the last week I have experienced strange pains when I got up at night. Men my age do a lot of getting up at night. It was getting a little scary, so Sunday with Jamie's help we flipped over the mattress. That is a significant job for old folks. I was so proud of myself. I felt I will get a great Night's sleep now. I really didn't consider that the mattress may be totally shot. It looked good.

I was really looking forward to crawling into a nice bed for a change. Although this mattress was fine before we moved here and turned it over, turning it over again did not improve on things. It was awful! I got up in the night and tried sleeping in my chair, that didn't work. I managed to sleep with my head toward the other end. That helped a teeny bit, not enough. I had spots of pain upon arising.

I knew I needed to get a new mattress today! The paradox was I was so tired I didn't think I would be very happy with the shopping required, but I couldn't take it another Night.

I googled mattresses in our area and visited the closest place, it was one of those unclaimed freight places. It had good recommendations. I found exactly what I wanted and for reasonable fee they delivered and picked up our old mattress. They were here shortly after Noon. I am all set up for tonight. I might have an exploratory nap this afternoon.

Second story: The Tale of the Missing Cup. I got a cup from some of my grand kids about twenty years ago and I have been using it for my Morning coffee ever since. I wasn't drinking coffee when we first moved in here and the cup got misplaced. I looked everywhere for it and did not stop at thinly veiled accusations against Jamie. Every time we went to Mora we would take a few boxes of stuff to the thrift store. I was sure my cup was sitting on the thrift store shelf. I didn't stop looking and it was frequently on my mind as I poked through a cupboard.

I was pretty tired and an unfeeling person may have thought I was crabby this Morning. I looked down after finishing setting up the coffee and what did I see my cup! How did that happen! A miracle! The story is more mundane. Naomi brought some ham and au gratin potatoes over for me last Night. She heated up the plate of food in the micro-wave. The cup was in the micro-wave. I guess we never used the micro-wave. In the excitement of the visit she didn't mention it.

Before I spied that cup I was dreading the day before me. The last thing I wanted to do was shop for a mattress. It seemed like a horrible proposition. Was this a sign that things would work out? Jamie was sympathizing with my dilemma this Morning and I said, “Don't worry I am surrounded by twenty angels.” One of those half serious comments. I must be. Things sure worked out perfect.

Love and Peace, Gregg

P.S. I enjoyed a much appreciated visit with Naomi and Bruce last Night. We laughed and laughed and had a marvelous time.

FINALLY

I just got back from my last Doctor's appointment. It was with my primary physician. It was a regular wellness visit. I never had one of those before; I never had a regular doctor before, I only went to the doctor when I had to and I usually saw who was available or the one my wife was seeing. This cancer thing has changed all that. For awhile I was seeing a cardiologist, an oncologist plus my regular doctor.

It isn't my last visit as the oncologist insist on seeing me every six months forever, but the long chain of doctor visits related to my esophageal tumor are over! I won't need to see anyone unless I have a specific concern. Let's hope I don't.

It is turning out to be a gorgeous Spring Day! It is Sunny and the temperature is supposed to climb into the sixties.

I am going to take a break and spend the rest of the day Sunning myself.

HAPPY EASTER!

This is the time of the year when we celebrate the return of the LIGHT! Let us celebrate fully and richly. The light cometh.

Love and Peace, Gregg

THE PASSING OF A FRIEND

The rainy day that I thought was coming yesterday came today. It has been a fairly good rain, it is melting what's left of the snow in the backyard. Yesterday turned out to be a magnificent Sunny day! I sat outside most of the day and even took my shirt off and got some Sun on my belly. I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment [follow-up] yesterday afternoon. They called me in the Morning and said they looked over my chart and decided I didn't need to come in unless I had questions or concerns. I told them I was as healthy as a horse and happy to boot. So they cancelled the appointment. I was too well!

This Morning has been busy. Jamie had an appointment that included lab work. We actually made two visits because the time between when the lab work was finished and the appointment began was too long to wait. We had time to come home and run some errands.

I am now ready to blog but I am also ready to nap. We will see how it works out.

Last Evening got an e-mail that an old friend of ours died. It was not completely unexpected because he recently had surgery for cancer of the bowel, however it was surprising enough as I thought the surgery was quite successful, they got all the cancer and he was making a good recovery.

His name was Dan. He was one of those people I instantly connected with. It didn't matter how often we got together, it was like we never were apart. I felt that way with my Brother Garth and with a friend who was a colleague of mine when I worked at Anoka County years ago [the first round]. He moved to Duluth years ago and if we met today it would be like we were never apart.

How many people do we know like that in a lifetime? Is it because we have had many lives together in the past? Who knows? Shortly after I read that Dan died. I was sitting back in my chair in contemplation when I heard hundreds of birds chirping loudly! It was the music birds make during their dawn chorus in the Spring. My eyes went to the television. The mute was on the noise didn't come from that direction.

Now old men hear lots of noises in their ears of non-existent things. I know that. This wasn't one of those noises. This was birds in full throated greeting of a new day.

I can only believe that Dan payed me a visit on his way to his next experience and the birds were in full orchestrating beauty welcoming a beloved soul to eternal paradise.

That is what I want to think.

I bought a book a couple months ago and just started reading it. It is titled, “WALKING EACH OTHER HOME” by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush. Many of you know Ram Dass from his great best seller “Be Here Now”. Ram Dass is 86 now and has been in a wheel chair and partially paralyzed for twenty some years after a massive stroke. He has some aphasia but his mind is as brilliant as ever. This book deals with death. It is a good read. Interesting, that yesterday, I planned to begin reading it today before I heard of Dan's death.

Love and Peace, Gregg

SEEING

I was hoping the Sun would come out and melt the rest of the snow. It was out a little while this Morning, not long enough. It might rain tomorrow, that should do it. We in Minnesota-land had to go through two Springs. Where I live we were rid of the snow for only one day and then it snowed again. It is warm out 52 F, but it is breezy and cloudy and that snow is stubborn. It holds be back on some of my walking plans as my pathways are slush covered, but I ain't no ball of fire and who knows if I would be taking advantage of Spring weather if we had it.

I got a glimpse into the freakishness of polarization when Julian Assange was arrested. I took it for granted that the liberal/progressive community supported him as a journalist who attempted to bring truth to the people. I discovered there were some folks who considered themselves liberal who lined up against him. I couldn't imagine why until I discovered they were tarring him with the Russia-gate brush.

Of all the things we could charge Trump with the Russia thing was nonsense. Hillary lost because she did not appeal to the struggling working class whose standard of living had not improved since the 70's. They are in great distress and it amazes me that the Democrats don't address it in loud voices. If things don't collapse first they will lose again, until they talk to these people and connect with their pain.

Any way, Russia's meddling in the election is small potatoes compared to what we do, around the world, in almost every election. If it wasn't for United States meddling Yeltsin would have never been elected which was the bringing down of the USSR. That was fully acknowledged at the time, if fact it was a cover story in the TIMES magazine. Look it up.

The Democrats should back off this Russia-gate thing. They could get their butts singed. The DNC has been guilty of their own meddling. They engineered Hillary's nomination. Many folks feel that Bernie would have won without their meddling. There is more than a little evidence that they spied on the Trump campaign. I am a life long radical democrat but I resist polarization and pigeon holing like the plague.

Were in for a shake up of our presumptions that will leave many confused. I don't think either party will survive the truth as it emerges. The Republicans are already embarrassed and ashamed of themselves [I know they hide it well]. The Democrats have become the party of righteousness, they are in for a downer when they find out what the DNC has been up to and how they have been manipulated to take sides when there was no side to take. One has to know the truth to stand on the side of truth. We can't get by ingesting some mish-mash fed to us by so called authority figures. We need to see for ourselves. Waking up is not the “Woke” that is fashionable, that is more blindness. We need to see our own craziness before we point to others.

It is hard to believe that something we just accept as fact may not be. Political persuasions and religious positions are especially vulnerable because we absorb many so-called truths that are simply not true. We have to face it, with the collapse of our empire will come the upturning of everything we thought was true.

We will have to relearn how to govern ourselves. We will have to learn how to live on the Earth with respect for her as we would any living Mother that loves and cares for us.

Look into the hearts of those who want to be leaders. Do you see love? Have their decisions been loving? Do they want to find ways to care for the people, all the people? I think there are a lot of good potential leaders out there.

It can be a scary time or an exciting time. A time to rebuild the world with love. Do not follow anybody who blames, divides or polarizes. We will be okay if we follow the love in our own hearts. We know the truth, we just like to hide it from ourselves. Love in the only energy there is and it is our only hope.

Happy Monday!

Love and Peace, Gregg

THE COLLAPSING OF THE EMPIRE

I don't know that I can blog today. I just got home. Jamie had a doctor's appointment and I waited for two hours. We got there early to start with, I thought the roads might be slow. They were slush covered, but we went along nicely. We were one-half hour early. I enjoyed myself observing the people, but time in a doctor's waiting room goes by at a different pace than the time at your favorite bar.

It is still snowing. It is also melting. My thermometer says it is 47.8 F. My experience is that it might be a couple degrees high, but it is pretty close. If the Sun comes out at all this weekend we should make a dent in this dense blanket of snow. It will probably be Monday before we see the ground again.

The Sun must be trying to break through the clouds, it is getting brighter in here! How is your world? Is it getting brighter? Mine is. I seem to be getting through a cloud that has engulfed me personally and I definitely see the promise of light coming to the world. I see so many positive signs of truth breaking through the crust of lies and deceit that have governed us forever.

Every time one of us makes that commitment to love in the moment, the light gets a little brighter. We may have to renew the commitment several times a day. That is okay. Don't get discouraged. We have become accustomed to the darkness. In fact our minds have become comfortable with a certain amount of negativity. With a little practice we can learn to catch ourselves when our minds go in an unloving direction. We can ask for help from our guides or our higher self.

Everything we thought we knew is going to be challenged. All the usual labels; conservative/liberal, republican/democrat, capitalist/socialist etc. etc. etc. are going to change dramatically as more truth comes out. It will be as if all our labels are put in a giant bushel basket, stirred thoroughly and shook about, then spilled out.

The world that we have known is history. This may be the biggest collapse of an empire on this Earth. I think it will dwarf the significance of the Roman Empire collapse. It is interesting we have a clown in charge.

It is all good. Just remember to love in the moment. Always make the most loving choice. Peace, love, and joy are ours.

Happy Friday! Celebrate!

Love and Peace, Gregg

THANKFULNESS

We are awaiting the storm. Apparently it is going to be a big one. We finally were freed from the last bit of old snow yesterday or day before, my days run together. It is okay. It will melt quickly. I don't know if I am influenced by the media hype, but I can feel the tension before the storm; both exciting and apprehensive. We could get over a foot of snow.

I have been learning a great deal about keeping my mind free of negative input so I can be loving in the moment. I am not out of the woods by any means. I am learning though and the last three days have been good.

Much of it has to do with my changing role in relation to Jamie's health. I need to go from husband to caretaker in seconds and sometimes I don't get the cues. Periodic forgetfulness is an interesting phenomena and how one's partner responds to it can create turmoil or peace. I will have much more to say about this at a later time.

Our cleaning lady just arrived and now I have lost my train of thought. After living here seven months we decided we ought to clean and vacuum. It actually doesn't look that bad, to me, others like my daughter may have a different perspective. We have had a cleaning lady since I retired in 2000. We had some vague idea with a smaller home we wouldn't need one. After all, there is no more tracking in of chicken, sheep, turkey, goose and goat manure, no more shedding of feed and hay from my clothes. I miss those days but this new life is okay too.

Oh, I got back my train of thought. In the last week I have become more and more aware of how important thankfulness is. When I have felt the encroachment of darkness, I focus on the first thing that comes to my mind that I am thankful for. At first we may not be able to think of anything if we are really down, but we can always find something. I have food in the house. My foot doesn't hurt. I am not sick. I am not very sick. Find something and thank the Loving Universe for it. As soon as we pry open the door to our gratefulness, more ideas flood in. As we express our thankfulness we will feel lighter and lighter. Whatever has been inviting the darkness will fade away.

As I reported I fell down on last Wednesday and I was afraid I had hurt myself. I was in a mild downer for awhile because I felt I may have set myself back considerably. I didn't, by Sunday Morning I was completely better. Instead of focusing on the fear that I might have hurt myself permanently, I talked to my body and praised it for its healing function. I spent one night in agony, but with help from a dose of tylenol I got through it.

The Night of agony didn't happen right after the fall. I fell on Wednesday. Thursday I was aware of a painful knot on my left hip and mild pain in my left shoulder and arm. The pain in my shoulder remained a mild complaint until Friday afternoon, I was on a long telephone conversation and the act of holding the phone up to my ear for an hour somehow aggravated the condition. I wanted to take something before I went to bed but all we had was aspirin and ibuprofen neither are recommended if one is on Xarelto [I hope to be off it soon].

I thought lying in bed would work out. Usually I can enter into the center of the pain, feel all of its intensity, bless it and it will allow me to sleep. Not this time. The pain was off the scale. I don't know what health professionals mean when they show you a pain chart from zero to ten and you are suppose to assess the pain. I thought about that, for the first time in my life I would say the pain was off the chart. The center of the pain was somewhere in my shoulder but my arm was useless. I went to bed about 11:30 and by 2:30AM I heaved myself out of bed, put on my clothes with great difficulty and went to Coborns and bought some Tylenol. My sore arm and shoulder would not allow me to take my wallet out of my pocket and I had to ask the clerk to do so. I relayed my story to him and he didn't think I was weird.

I got home took a dose of Tylenol and went to bed. It took a while and another dose, but finally the pain dissipated enough that I could sleep. I took a preventative dose upon arising. I had no pain all day Saturday. I took another preventative dose on Saturday night to insure I would sleep. I had no trace of a problem on Sunday Morning and haven't had since.

It was a miracle. I was sure there was something seriously wrong, slipped disc, significant nerve damage etc. It was discouraging to have this happen after all I have been through with this amazing body.

I was elated most of the day Sunday and off and on since. My body and the Loving Universe gave me a giant reprieve. I can continue to go forward with my healing. I can close my eyes, find that peaceful place, express my gratitude and experience elation.

For some time now I have been thanking our Mother/Father God upon going to bed. I look over the day and express my gratitude for all my experiences. When I awake in the Morning I express my thanks for the great sleep and the for the new day that stretches before me.

I think our cleaning lady is done. I need to settle up and express my thanks for the clean house.

Love and Peace, Gregg

P.S. I just looked at our local forecast, worse case scenario we could get 24 inches of new snow!