DREAM

I had a dream. Not that kind, a sleep dream, this is real. I was dreaming I was involved in some kind of help for the needy, a delivery from the haves to the havenots. It is hazy but I think it involved airplanes. My ankle itched and I had to pee so I awoke. I looked at the clock and it read 3:14. I said to myself “All we have to give them is pie [PI]” I got up went about my business and put some itch cream on my ankle and crawled back in bed.

I fell asleep and took up the dream. This time I dreamed that I had to put this in my blog. With some urgency, I dreamed about the dream, and how I should write about it. Words went through my mind about it constantly. All the rest of the Night this dream went through my mind, unloading goods and how I needed to write about it. “All that we have to give them is pie” traveled through my mind a few hundred times. Is that like, “Let them eat cake?” The 3:14 connection was never a clever thing, in the dream it wasn't even slightly amusing.

I have been having weird dreams lately and as usual my memory of them is hazy. I don't think this dream meant anything, I only report it because my dream mind insisted I write about it. And I really didn't have any other ideas for my blog today; hah, what am I going to do now.

Jamie and I are working out a new phase of our relationship. She says she would like help with her memory problem and in many cases that turns out to be true. On many other cases she definitely does not want to know what she said yesterday. It is not too different from the rest of us. But when it is, it is. The usual parlance is changed. I am learning. People don't want to be reminded constantly of their memory problem. Sometimes they do want to know to know what they are forgetting, if I pay attention to something besides my own ego, I can usually tell the difference. As I say, I am learning.

I know that Jamie and I made a contract before we came into this life to have this experience for its invaluable learning. She is the teacher. It is interesting because I have little trouble keeping it from being a painful drama. I can float over things in my golden bubble, but boy, do I seem to love to get my pathetic little self [ego] into the mix and stir things up a bit. Every time it happens I vow it will never happen again. We discover why our mentors advised us never to make vows. I do learn. I don't particularly like the hard round-about way of learning.

I know the easy way to learn, follow love. Whenever I choose to serve with love and accept the care taking role things go amazing smoothly. Being the caretaker takes readjustment and even re-definition of care taking. Much of the time I float along in the old husband role, then something reminds me I am also the care taker and I have other needs to serve. In our case these are not physical needs, Jamie is well able to take care of herself and then some. These reminders are disconnections, forgetfulness, perseverations, etc. When I serve with love and consideration these things rarely cause a stir and we go along fine.

Yes, I mourn for what I have lost. I would give anything to have my old Jamie back. But this is not sudden, it would look like that to an outsider as there would appear to be a significant downturn in the last couple months. It has been a gradual decline going back some four or five years. It is not a sudden lurching pain, oh yet, still painful. When I remember, this was my idea to experience this for its use in expanding my heart and mind, I find comfort in the love that surrounds us.

Oh yes, I can cry out and show my fist to an unfair god. Actually that is kind of fun. When we can tell god off we know we are equals and perhaps we can accept oneness.

We are part of God and we are in charge of our lives. Just because we can't remember doesn't mean we weren't involved in choosing what comes down the pike.

There is nothing remarkable about me and I know I can deal with anything if I remember to choose love.

HAPPY FRIDAY FOLKS.

Love and Peace, Gregg