LIFE AND DEATH

We had a good Easter, although we had few celebrants; just Jamie, Noah and myself. It was a beautiful afternoon and Jamie and I sat out on the deck for much of the afternoon. We were helped along by the assistance of a few fermented malt beverages. The clouds were amazing. There was a fairly stiff breeze and the clouds whisked across the sky rapidly. The clouds formed marvelous shapes, once I saw a giant horned animal [bison] charging across the firmament. They scuttled across the Sun, at infrequent enough intervals, that we were able to enjoy the Sunshine. Then we had a delicious dinner of roasted lamb, garlic potatoes and salad.

Spring is bursting all around us! We are definitely in a renewal; yet with life there is death. I am comfortable with death as a topic, and at one level, I know no thing or nobody dies; energy just changes form.

However, occupying these bodies, in the limited life we experience, death seems real enough. Both of my parents died in their sleep. We all knew it was coming. My mother was ill for years; with my Father it was a little more sudden, but not a surprise. At 82, of course, I have experienced much death, both friends and relatives.

This last year has been a new experience. My brother, who was eighteen months older than me, died shortly before my 80^th birthday. Sad, as it was, it was expected and he suffered from a severe heart condition for many years. Then my younger brother died shortly before his 80^th birthday. That was a different story. He was healthy all his life, one Morning he saw blood in his urine, and died of bladder cancer four month later. He wasn't supposed to die.

Now we have another such event in the making. I wasn't going to talk about it until it is all over, but it is on my mind constantly. Donna, my first wife and Mother of my first four children, was diagnosed with ALS around Thanksgiving and the disease has progressed rapidly. She could linger for months and miracles are possible; but it appears death may be close.

Some people aren't suppose to die; first my brother Garth, now Donna. In one way or another, they were both anchors in the consciousness of the family. I always knew they were there and I didn't expect that to change.

Laura, my oldest daughter, has been supplying pictures and keeping us up to date with the situation. The change, from a vibrant being full of life, to a person getting ready to exit, is dramatic. I found the latest pictures quite disturbing.

Yet, as disturbing as Donna's appearance is, the pictures also show, her children at her side witnessing the transition. What a beautiful thing it is, too! They are very fortunate they can experience this together. I am not a good enough writer, to put into words, what I experience when I view these pictures. First the horror of the disease strikes me, then the love that emanates from the family, and I realize, it is a great privilege, I have, to be part of this; even though, I am reviewing it remotely.

I am not sure this was an appropriate topic for my blog, but I needed to say it. Two of the people, I loved most deeply in my life, passing so close together.

Death is such an important subject, and something we all do, yet we hide it from ourselves. I have thought a great deal about this and would like to write more about it.

Love and Peace, Gregg