The most important relationship we have is the one with ourselves. This is a subject with many different facets. Remember I am a student like you are; we are learning together. What I am discovering is that how we feel about ourselves, in any moment, affects how we feel about and treat all others. We can only love others to the extent we can love ourselves.
In order to love ourselves we need to unlearn all the negative programming that we experienced since leaving the womb. As I pointed out in my last blog, we don't need a therapist couch to accomplish this. All is in our minds. How do we think and feel about ourselves? It has been said that there are no neutral thoughts. I cannot argue the truth of this, but it is a useful working hypothesis. We can look at each thought, we have about ourselves, and ask "is this thought helpful?"
Whether a thought originates in ourselves or comes from outside [if there really is an outside] it is loving or it is fearful. Some of us have learned to catch ourselves when we have negative thoughts about others and have become quite efficient at being non-judgmental. Yet we will allow a negative interpretation of our own behavior and think we are just being honest. We will whip ourselves with switches, figuratively, for some transgression. If it is not okay to judge another, it is not okay to do it to ourselves. We must stop it. Sure, we see with clarity, there are places, in which we need to grow, but we don't need to beat ourselves up over it.
This is an area where the concept of oneness is important. We are One. Separation only exist in this illusion. How we feel about ourselves affects everyone. When we put ourselves down, we put humanity down. We elevate the consciousness of humanity by raising our own consciousness. We are the ones awakening humanity, by awakening ourselves. We cannot contribute to the awakening while we are dragging ourselves down with negative thoughts and feelings.
I can hear someone thinking, "but I don't have negative thoughts about myself and I still don't feel good about myself". As I have said before the ego is tricky. It is not hard to develop blindness about how we see ourselves. Since we left the womb we inculcated others feelings and attitudes; they are like dark clouds that form layers at the bottom of our psyches. They attract negative thoughts and experiences to us. No matter how dark this matter seems to be, it cannot stand up to love. When we have the courage to look into ourselves we can say to each layer, "that is not me" "I am a being of love. I will not harbor darkness" Love will wash away the darkness and if we continue to focus on love it will not come back.
Affirmations are very valuable in washing away the darkness and keeping it away. They are very personal, however, what works for me might sound silly to you. Reminding ourselves that we are love and we love ourselves is very valuable. We might develop a habit of looking in the mirror every Morning and tell ourselves how much we love ourselves.
Loving ourselves is not self-centeredness. Focus on self comes from fear. People who are self-centered are afraid they don't measure up. The doubts they have about themselves create separation and exaggerated focus on self. Love goes out. It expands. The more you love yourself the more your love flows to all.
Remember that Love is reality. Fear creates illusion. Life on this planet is a constant choice between love and fear. It all begins in our mind.
We need to spend as much time, as we can, in quiet time. The core of our being is unconditional love. If we learn to be quiet, and let our thoughts go, we can feel the love embracing us; reassuring us that we are indeed love. We can go through our whole day, with the knowledge, that we are in the embrace of a loving universe, and we are one with it.
Let's not forget to laugh at ourselves. Great belly laughs. Life on this planet is nothing, if not amusing.
Love and Peace, Gregg
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