BE HAPPY

I have excellent good energy this Morning! Perhaps it is in part to due with the gorgeous day. It is beautiful and Sunny. It is below zero but the Sun is so strong and there is no wind. It doesn't feel cold. I went to get the paper this Morning. Our city has done an amazing job, just overnight, of plowing the roads. Yesterday the roads were miserable, this Morning it is very good driving. There are mountains of snow piled up here and there. They are white and fresh and beautiful for now. I asked the lady at the station store if they were going to haul the mountains of snow away, she thought they would let Nature take care of it.

Have you noticed how life teaches us? We may not see it at the time, but upon reflection it is clear. I am emerging from a little rough patch and although I could see it was a lesson, it is hard to appreciate when we are in the middle of the process. [I won't say more about this particular lesson in this blog- perhaps later]

Several times I have looked back at my career as a psychotherapist and was astounded how I was being continually being taught by my clients. One could say the whole teacher/pupil thing was turned around. When I was a young man with small children most of my clients had presenting problems that dealt with child raising. When I was older and was having marital difficulties my clients were mostly seeking marriage counseling. And so it went, in subtler and more obvious ways.

I went through a period of time when my clients were fabulously wealthy. They may have had maids, cooks and owned islands in the Caribbean. Some were family members of great corporations. Yet they were seeking guidance from this offspring of a working class/lower middle class family. [Oh it was a family of great pretension-perhaps that was good] Whatever residue of belief that money, status and power would bring happiness was greatly threatened as I got to know these folks better and better. The belief that money, status or fame will bring happiness is so indoctrinating in our society that it takes much unlearning to realize it is simply not true.

Because I was, in part, a shamed filled child I always had a secret wish to be famous. Then one day I got a new client who was a poet/playwright/actor, he wanted help getting rid of his obsession to be famous as it interfered with his creativity. By this time, being much more aware of myself, I told him I didn't think I could help him as I had the same problem myself. That didn't seem to trouble him and he continued in therapy. He did become famous.

As time goes on, the lesson I learn over and over, is that happiness has nothing to do with anything going on outside our own skin. I can be happy in any circumstance and also miserable. Of course it is easier to be happy in a benign situation. Happiness is more difficult when surrounded by people who are miserable or in situation of pain or lack.

Oh! What goes on in our own heart and mind eclipses everything else! I have been in relationship with people who were going through a very painful time. They may have been giving invitations to join in their misery. Ah.... but compassion is knowing and appreciating ones pain, it is not joining them in pain. Maintaining our own center of love and peace is always most helpful. Any helpful move on our part will come from love.

When we are in a tough situation with folks around us we only add to the pain and confusion if we let it invade our own consciousness. They need to be brought into our heart and comforted. We can't do that if our heart has been hardened against them.

Sure we may be tired of life teaching us lessons. It is not fun. We can make it easier. We can sail through the lesson and glean the learning without the pain. Oh, yes we can! That is what life is about, learning that happiness is our responsibility. The solution is not out there. It is learning to love ourselves in a way that nothing 'out there' can challenge it.

I am speaking as a journeyman who is amidst of learning, not one who has solved the problem. I know what helps. Upon arising greet the day! Bring to mind all we are thankful for, anything. “The kink in my back is not so bad this Morning.” “It not quite as cold as it cold be.” At this level thankfulness it is a reverse negative, but with a little practice we will see things we are really thankful for in a positive way.

We are thankful for so much! I can just sit here and see things I am thankful for. Today I am healthy! Today I have money in the bank! Today I live in a warm house! Today the view out my study window is stunning! Today I have two amaryllis on my windowsill exploding in beauty! Today I have a cup of coffee at my elbow! Today my computer is working flawlessly! [I spilled water on the keyboard day before yesterday and it has been iffy for awhile] I could go on and on. My life is perfect and I am in love!

What a difference it makes to contemplate the positive things in life. We can list all the negative things we can think about and be miserable. It is just as easy to list the things we are grateful for.

Ahhh....... such is life, it comes to us everyday, wave by wave and we can shape it with the perception of our beautiful and powerful minds anyway we wish.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Love and Peace, Gregg