DEATH

I have written on this subject before and now I am even more qualified. Ever since I received the diagnoses of a squamous cell esophageal tumor and the doctor told me I would be dead in 4 to 5 months without treatment, I have been looking in the eyes of death. I didn't choose treatment over death because of shyness about death but because the death he described was no fun. I, eventually, would not be able to swallow my spit and no eating or drinking. I suppose life support would be used for awhile. I didn't ask him.

I saw various things in the eyes of family members, I think some thought I was denying my fate, I wasn't; death was not the issue for me. I don't know when most folks get over their apprehension with death. Most people my age seem to have resolved much of their fear, however I knew a man in a nursing home who was terrified of death and he was in his nineties.

I know what it is like to be afraid of death. In my early thirties I had three anxiety attacks that were based on that fear. The first one was triggered by the thought that life was just like falling off a tall building, the ground was coming at me swiftly and there was no way to stop it.

I couldn't imagine not being. I had no belief to comfort me. Getting to where I am now was gradual and I am still in evolution.

I don't remember where I was at spiritually in my early thirties. I was Catholic until I was fourteen or so. Eight years of parochial school and a priest who taught of a cruel God, helped me to conclude religion was nonsense. I suppose I was into one of my quasi atheistic states or agnosticism. I thought of my myself as an atheist, but I never really was. An atheist believes there is no god. How can you decide one way or another? Either way is a decision without enough information.

During this time of suspended belief, I read two versions of the bible cover to cover; King James and the Douay. I wanted to compare them to see where the difference lay between Catholic and Protestant. I couldn't find a clue. I read the Koran and the key works of all the major religions. I was a man with much information but little knowledge. So when I was in my early thirties I still did not know who I was, I did not understand 'being'.

After those anxiety attacks I must have asked the Universe for knowledge. Of course I was familiar with reincarnation from my Eastern studies, but suddenly I was coming across articles and books about it in the modern Western world. And stories about near death experiences seemed to drop in my lap. Furthermore, I was a psychotherapist at the time, and I begin to get patients who were on the same quest I was; one had a near death experience, others had experienced hypnotic-regression to passed lives.

I am a qualified hypnotherapist. I only used it to help people give up habits like smoking. Now I began to use it to explore passed lives. I was amazed at how passed life experiences fit into my patients tasks to deal with in this life.

I could write about this for hours but to make a long story short I finally concluded we are not bodies. We are the energy that animates the body. That is our 'being'. The energy that is us is the same energy the Universe is made of. I believe it is Unconditional Love. All those silly ego ramifications are attached to the body and if one would examine them they would find them fear based.

When we sit here in our bodies and let all our concerns float away, we can connect with beingness. That is what we are. What we are is beautiful. What we are is Love. What we are is ONE. One with each other and one with 'all there is'.

At this point in my life I can't imagine being afraid of death. I love this beautiful body that has served me so well and no I don't want to leave it yet. I am eager to see how the craziness in the world is going to end. I want to be here for the grand awakening. Yet, if I leave this body today or tomorrow that is okay too. I will continue to serve wherever I go.

From the state of our being we can conclude there is no death.

Love and Peace, Gregg