RELATIONSHIPS

Friday, I mentioned that I would talk about relationships, today. That is a huge subject and I know so little and yet so much. We are all in relationships all the time. I don't know that there is, such a person, as an expert on relationships. Some folks see a little more, and I am not sure one can guess who, according to profession. Writers, such as novelist and playwrights,  may head the list.

I want to accomplish two things today. I would like to give a brief overview of the ego and I would like to point out that relationships are under stress during this period of adjustment.

As we have discussed before the ego is not inherently a bad thing. We created it as part of our body experience. When we first found ourselves separate from each other, in these strange bodies, we felt vulnerable. We still knew we were One and we still had connection with Source. Yet, encapsulated in these bodies, we felt we needed some warning system to alert us of danger. We made our egos to give us a sharpened sense of our separate bodies and to be alert to anything that could threaten the body. As long as we knew our Oneness with each other and Source, the ego had a valuable function.

To make a very long story short; we gradually sunk deeper in to density and lost our connection with each other and Source. With separation fear entered in. The ego interprets fear as a need for greater protection and increases the mechanisms of separation. Of course, a related story, is how a handful of people learned how to use the ego's, propensity for fear, for control.

Thus the ego began as a protection, because of our separation, and it ended as a cause of our separation.

The ego has become a tyrant. It has become identified [ in our minds] with who we are. In order to protect itself it guards against any danger that we might see ourselves as One. This little tiny part of us acts like it is all of us. It is jealous of what it sees as its identity and fights to maintain it. The ego {with great help from our controllers} has developed a range of mechanisms to maintain separation. I will mention what comes to my mind, other folks may think of other things: competitiveness, self-aggrandizement, defensiveness, belief in higher and lower, greed, prejudice, domination, inequality, ingratiation, up putting and down putting of all kinds, etc. We could go on and on. The ego uses anything it can to give us a sense of separation from each other and Source.

We are at a time when Love is flowing abundantly on Earth. Not all of us are aware of it yet. Still it is enough that our egos feel threatened. That tiny part of us that has become comfortable with control thinks it is, all of us. When we attempt to grow and decide to give up the dominance of the ego, it rebels, it feels threatened with extinguishment. It makes us hypersensitive to threats from others.

All through the ages, folks who wanted to grow spiritually, had to deal with their egos. This certainly in not a new thing and literature is replete with examples. Now, however, the love that encompasses the world invites all of us to put aside our egos. The strife occurs for two reasons: one; the urge to grow, that has laid dormant in some, has begun to express itself and folks that were before, willing to put up with a smothering or limiting relationship, are reaching for something more. Two; folks in relationships, that are growing, are suddenly finding themselves in heightened conflict because their egos are panicked. Their ego's know their time of control is limited and they attempt to flood the mind with panic that is connected with whichever ego attribute is triggered.

What can we do? First have faith that this period of chaos will be short lived. We need to look at ourselves and honestly assess what ego attributes we are hanging on to. Why can't we keep our mouths shut when one of our buttons are pushed? Do we still need that button? What would happen if we didn't react when our spouse, friend, relative said something we found offensive?

During this time we are going to find ourselves ego involved in one way or another. We can become sensitive to it and be wary of any off-beat behavior we might be expressing. It would be nice if we all had a light that lit up on our foreheads when we were ego involved. Since ego involvement is a gradient thing [we are always somewhat influenced by ego] the light could intensify with the ego involvement. When the light was shining bright folks could say, "We better ignore him until the light dims". Likewise, it would be nice if we had our own internal light that would warn us when we are about to be crazy.

You know what? We already do. We know perfectly well when we are being nuts and we generally see it in others. But in that moment we don't care. Ego triggers ego. We may know perfectly well our spouse is having a bad time, but they may say something that we just can't pass up, and away we go. Action and reaction, when the ego light is on, is insane. It is amazing how two credible people can be in an ongoing fight that essentially is about who will quit first or who started it.

We will learn not to do this. Our egos will drag us through a lot of dreck if we allow them. We can think of our egos as terrified and spoiled little children; threatened by everything and wanting to control everything. We can help them grow up. When we feel our ego light come on [don't deny it-you know when it happens]  we can tell ourselves lovingly, that everything is okay, we are not abandoned, we are loved. We can do that a thousand times a day if necessary. We don't need to react when poked. We can become aware of our own poking. We are learning. We are growing. Interpersonal discord will become a memory soon. First it will just be funny and then we will give it up completely.

Egos are a source of great amusement and when we can laugh at ourselves; really great belly laughs we will be healing.

We are constantly in relationship. It is a kaleidoscope. Even when we are alone we are in relationship. With our memories, with intimates who are temporarily not there, with ourselves; most of these relationships, regardless of the strife, are growing and enriching. We are in a time when we must realize we are responsible for our own growth. It is not helpful to maintain relationships in which we feel hurt, poisoned or undermined. If a relationship oozes negativity, why would we do it? We need to love everybody. In some situations it is easier to love from afar that it is up close. When we find ourselves in that kind of situation, know that you can't help them, if you can't love them up close.

The light is getting very intense. We are being forced to give up our craziness. Any hidden beliefs we have in darkness will cause us pain until confronted and melted away. Be wary of those ego lights, yours and others, we will make it through this period just fine. Paradise beckons.

Love and Peace,  Gregg