Wednesday, February 10, 2016

LIFE AND LIFE



Mondays have been strange lately. Something seems to come up to interfere with blogging. Monday was a bit chaotic, but the main thing keeping me from blogging, was a preoccupation with a close family members health issue. It was ever present and I didn't think I could blog about anything else. He is a private person and I thought writing about his situation may not be appropriate. After mulling it over for three days, I decided it is appropriate.

About a month ago, my younger brother, Garth, showed symptoms that could be bladder cancer. He sought help on the very day he showed symptoms and it was thought it would be easily managed. I researched bladder cancer and discovered that it has a very favorable cure rate, when discovered early, 85% and better. I did note there was at least one variety that had a very poor prognosis. I was very reassured, but had reservations.

I heard through the grapevine things may not be going as well as expected.

I called him on Saturday. It turns out he has the most aggressive form of bladder cancer and it has already metastasized and is in one lung, besides other parts of his body. Pain medication has not been very effective and he was in considerable discomfort. His doctor told him, there was no hope for a cure and chemo therapy might give him a little more time.

On the positive side, he was peaceful and even accepting of the situation. He apologized to me for giving me such bad news.

At the moment of this writing he is back in the hospital.

Garth is more accepting of this 'end of life' drama than I am.

When I look back at my life, I realize I have been very fortunate in my experience of death. Both of my parents died in their sleep. They wanted to go and there was more relief than sadness in their passing. I have had several friends die and some were a great shock, at the time; but I could see the sense it made and didn't question their decision. Of course, there was always some passing grief.

My older brother, and his wife, both died last year. The deaths were expected, in that they followed years of debilitation. Both of these deaths had a powerful impact; but then, more relief than sadness.

How is it different with Garth? First, although he will be 80, March 12th, he is my younger brother. He is not supposed to die! He has never been sick, that I know of. We haven't seen each other very often; but, I always felt a closeness that wasn't diminished by the infrequency of our contact. I have always loved him very deeply.

I grieve for myself, for his wife, and his children.

I honor his decision to leave. I know death is not real. I know it is just a transition from this space to another. I will see him again.

And wait a minute; he is still with us. Miracles happen! Maybe he will stay with us awhile.

I love you, Garth.

Love and Peace, Gregg


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