Decisions. Are we aware of what decisions are? There is, what to have for supper? There is, where to live? There is, what to wear? Who we should invite to a party? We can think of endless examples. Are these the important decisions?
Our most important decision is choosing between Love and Fear [with its myriad relatives]. We make them continuously in our minds. I am beginning to recognize how often we make these little decisions. We could call them micro-decisions, but there is nothing small about their affect on our consciousness.
The last few days I have been attuning myself to the decision making process on a minute by minute basis. I wanted to make all my decisions with love. What I discovered was both subtle and profound. My thought stream was constantly presenting me with things to judge. Instead of being completely open and surrendering to the moment I was filtering the world through a maze of little judgements. It is hard to describe. Everyone must do it themselves. I know there are a million examples but as I sit here they don't come to me.
I have had a Summer cold and as I walk along I might say to myself, "I wonder how long this cold will last". Now, you might think this is just a question, but it is not. It is a statement triggered by the fear that the cold will continue. "I wonder if it will be too cold for the party tomorrow". Only the thinker knows if that is a real conjecture or a fear thought.
As we go through the day we observe, we see, we perceive, we experience. "Boy, that is an ugly car." Who in the world would get a tattoo like that?" "Wow he has got a big nose!" Are these just observations about the world? Are they judgements? The thinker knows which they are. She/he knows if they are loving observations or judgements. Behind all judgements there is fear, although it may be hidden and not readily seen. A tattoo might upset one's sense of order; a person might be fearful she/he can't live in their predictable world. A big nose may being up fears about one's own appearance. Again, the thinker knows.
When we walk through the world without judgement; we walk in the light. It is as if the Sun is shining on us all the time. We bask in unconditional love. Any thought stream that is negative is ignored. We don't attach to any negative thoughts or ideas.
When ever we attach ourselves to a fear thought or judgement; we block the light. We descend in to darkness. It may be only a temporary cloud but it will affect our consciousness until it is dismissed or runs its course.
As I went through the day I was aware of how many times my mind departed from love, by my attachment to some thought. It might not have been heavy. It might have been only a light cloud. I might not have lost complete awareness with love. But where was that feeling of deep contentment? Where did the joy go?
The biggest decision is the one that is occurring in our minds right now. It is ongoing. We are deciding whether to love or not. Let us embrace Love. Let us walk in the light. We don't want to be afraid anymore. There are not any minor fears. They all block the light.
Love and Peace, Gregg
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