Over
the years I have heard the advice, if you want to enlighten the
World, “Stop complaining.” Last Night I ran across that advice
again. It came to me at a crucial time because I have been wallowing
around in some kind of self-pity. I hate to admit it, but truth is
truth and I need to face the ugly truth of my own person-hood.
One
of the main drivers is the PET SCAN that is scheduled for November
30th. That will determine if I am cancer free and really
on the mend. That question has rarely come up in my conscious mind.
Up until a month ago I was seeing one doctor or another once or twice
a week. They had such positive energy. Nobody ever promised me the
treatment would be successful, but it was a joint venture of
tremendous positive energy.
Since
September 6th when I finished Radiation, I have been in
slow recovery and waiting for this final verdict. I didn't admit that
it was weighing on me until a couple weeks ago.
I
have no logical reason to be anxious about the results. I have been
recovering well. I am recovering from the treatment not the disease.
Radiation five days a week for fifteen weeks is a drag plus the
Chemo. I survived the Chemo without losing my beard, but then during
the recovery process it really thinned out. I have no evidence that I
should be apprehensive.
It
is insane to worry about a future event and even more crazy to worry
about it when you have no control over it. I am always able to deal
with anything life brings to me. I am ultimately not concerned.
I
am not pleased with myself that I fall into this ego-trap. I know all
the ways of getting out of it. I know how to be in the moment. I know
how to walk in the energy of the Love of the Universe. I know we are
all one. I know I am not a body anyway. I do not fear death of the
body.
The
trouble is I was denying my concern, so it lay in my consciousness
like a dead fish and magnified all the usual irritations of the day.
Whatever happens I will be able to deal with it. One can only make
decisions when they are confronted with the need.
Giving
up complaining is a good exercise. It is amazing how much negative
energy we can create in our lives by complaining.
I
will welcome life as it comes to me. I will greet it with love. I
will not try to shape it to my will except with love and acceptance.
I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I lack for nothing and
am surrounded by loving beings.
We
are One and we are all great beacons of light. Whenever we feel that
love inside us we are shining light onto the world and raising
everybody up. We need to help each other. We do; every time we shine
our light, every time we smile, every time our eyes connect with
another. It is so much easier to love than complain.
Happy
Friday!
Love
and Peace, Gregg
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