Its cool and rainy outside. It is warm and cozy where I am sitting and I have a hot cup of coffee at my elbow. It has been a typical Morning. I got up about seven. I got a cup of coffee and did the crossword puzzle. Looked on my iPad and wished a friend a happy birthday. Let the chickens out about eight and gave them the kitchen wastes. Got my dishes in the sink and soaking in hot water. Did my usual Morning exercises and affirmations; followed by routine ablutions.
During this whole process, I realize how perfect my life is. Everything falls into place, like somebody is writing a perfect script for me. I am happy.
But then, I could be having the same experiences and be miserable. Happiness doesn't have much to do with doing, does it? Oh, doing can lead to happiness, and it can absorb our attention, so we don't focus on how we feel; definitely doing and being affect each other like a hand and a glove. Being, however, is where our contentment with life lies. And, it is possible to be content with being, regardless of what our body is doing.
I was involved in the same routine [doing] a few days ago and I was struggling to be peaceful. A person close to me was angry with me. I had hurt their feelings. It was a stupid inadvertent thing that happens in an argument. For me it was over, when the argument was over. For them- it wasn't. I did what I thought was necessary and appropriate to make amends. The estrangement continued. I tortured myself. My self esteem suffered.
It occurred to me that my suffering wasn't helpful to them; and once I did everything I knew to make it better, it was no longer my problem to solve.
I could give the problem up to a loving universe and hold this person lovingly in my heart. Coming to this conclusion is very important. Accomplishing a peaceful mind is another thing. When we go through something like this we are vulnerable to negative thoughts, directly in proportion to how we might be making, open or hidden judgement about ourselves. The little imps of self judgement emerge, "You are not as evolved spiritually as you pretend to be, are you?" "If you were not such a big ass, you wouldn't say hurtful things." "Are you ever, going to get over, reacting like an adolescent?" "I wonder if people really know what a jerk you are?" Those little ego imps are very creative at bring us down.
Yet, once we have convinced ourselves, that we have done all we can, for now. We can deal with the demons. Those kind of errant thoughts, that pass through our minds, have no power if we just let them go. The problem is we may agree with them. We may need to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness of self, and others, needs to be a continuous process. As long as we live in this duality, our minds are going to love to attract negative thoughts. They won't harm us if we let them float out as easily as they floated in.
We all want to have good relationships. Our relationships are our highest value. I want, and I think most of us want, everybody to like us. But we have to remember, we are all on different paths. It is not always easy to see, what another needs to create for themselves, to learn what they are trying to learn. We all have our own things to learn, in our path, towards fully loving ourselves. I should say 'unlearn'; we are already loving beings who learned limitation.
I read somewhere, that it is not any of my business, what somebody thinks of me. At first it 'took me aback', then I realized the truth of the statement. I have enough to do, keeping my channels open, and not limiting my heart. All that I can do is make sure, I am free of judgement, and willing to offer love to all.
So, yes, I am having a perfect day. The Sun just came out!
Love and Peace, Gregg
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