All the troubles in the world are caused by our lack of love for ourselves. Some of us are afraid to love ourselves because we confuse love with the ego positions of self-centeredness e.g. narcissism, selfishness, greed etc. They all come from the fear that one is not enough and not deserving. Narcissism is inverted shame, which is an attempt to draw light upon oneself in an attempt to ameliorate an underlying shame. Selfishness and greed come from the fear that there is not enough and fear that one is not lovable enough to be given anything.
Loving ourselves frees us from self involvement. There is no need to focus on our self when we know there is no lack. We accept the gifts of the universe with gratitude and give freely to others because we only see abundance.
A falling in love experience is a recognition of oneness. When we fall in love with an individual we can imagine our souls meshing. When we fall in love with ourselves, we see our enmeshment with humanity. We see we are one with all. When we see ourselves as love, we can only see love.
When we go through life knowing we are love, we see through life's little irritations. When a neighbor criticizes us we can see through his/her facade to the love he/she is. Perhaps we were unthinking or neglectful, if so, our forgiveness of our self and the other is automatic. What ever amends have to be made is quickly accomplished. We love our self. We don't judge our self. We have no need to defend our self from others criticism. We see where our neighbor came from. Perhaps we can see his/her painful place. Our response of love, rather than defense, may be healing.
I have experienced falling in love with myself and I hope every one who hasn't, does so. The experience itself is not easily describable. Did it last? Well, the initial intensity did not last long. The ego is a jealous master. It doesn't like us seeing who we really are. However, love is more powerful than the ego and once we experience loving ourselves, we know what love is and we will seek it. We see love is not measuring ourselves, judging ourselves, criticizing ourselves, finding lack in ourselves, embracing shame or guilt on any of the other ego tricks that separate us from who we really are. For we are Love. We are the unconditional Love of Source.
I had two experiences yesterday that pointed out to me that I was not loving myself. One a positive input, the other a negative input.
Jamie and I visited a neighboring town yesterday. We were in a restaurant. Jamie was ahead of me and as I approached she said, "Would you like to sit here?" I glanced at the booth nearby and said, "Sure, I would like to be by these nice looking people?" I noticed one appeared to be disabled and I engaged her in a brief conversation. They were finished eating and left soon after we sat down. The woman, who was not disabled, came back to our table and said, with a glowing smile, your meal has been paid for. She left before I could gather my wits for a response. Now I have heard of 'paying forward' and I guess it is gaining traction here. But what the subject is, is my internal response. Sure it made me happy. I was pleased. I was grateful. There were other sneaky feelings. Obligation? Worthiness? They were not clear. They were muddy. They were not strong enough to override the positive feelings. But they were there. They were feelings I would not have if I loved myself sufficiently.
That afternoon, I picked Elijah [six year old grandson] up from the school bus. We have a long driveway. On the way he said something that would normally be cause for bemusement. He was angry with something and he thought Grandpa was a safe outlet. Grandpa wasn't. I got angry with him. It turned out well and was a learning experience for both of us. However, there are more pleasant ways to learn, and it would not have happened, if I did not have some doubts about my worthiness.
We can easily see that not loving ourselves is the root of all our problems. Whether it is a little todo with our spouse or a world war, it begins with us not loving ourselves.
Let us reemphasize that our universe is love. The things we see about ourselves that are not love are part of the illusion of separateness and they do not exist. We are love and we can't change that. Let us devout a time everyday when we sit quietly and experience the warm glow of the universe, let it embrace us and melt away all the doubts we have.
Love and Peace, Gregg
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