THE WHOLE PICTURE

“Why is this happening to me?” Have you ever said this or thought it? If we create our own illusion which we call life, then why isn't it always as intended?

Let us explore this. First we must realize that we create at many levels. We may consciously wish something with all are hearts, but have a defeatist program [at feeling level] going on that says we don't deserve it.

But often we just can't see the whole picture. We are all creating together and separately. Sometimes what we are trying to create doesn't mesh.

Let us go back even further. We came into this world with an intent to grow. We wanted to see how close we could come to being unconditionally loving beings. We set up learning situations for ourselves so we would have the experiences need to reach our goal. We developed contracts with each other to facilitate our growth. These contracts can be experienced as very positive to quite negative, but in the long run they are all positive as they all contribute to our learning to love more fully.

We cannot see the whole picture! While we are in this life and in these bodies we will never be able to, we can't back away far enough.

So what do we do? First of all we remember a basic lesson. WE WILL NEVER KNOW ENOUGH TO JUSTIFY JUDGEMENT. Whether it be ourselves or our neighbors. Simple things like seeing someone park in a handicap space and get out of the car and seem to walk into the grocery store with ease. Do we really know it is with ease? I actually asked an old guy, like myself, why he needed handicap parking. He seemed okay. We chatted a bit. He told me his ticker was so bad that he couldn't breathe after a small amount of walking. His breathing became difficult just while we were talking. This was a pleasant conversation, he knew I was curious and not challenging. I had my answer.

From small things to big things we cannot see the whole picture. I told this story before, forgive me for repeating it. When I was working for an agency doing in-home family therapy we were dying on the vine because our agency leader did not particularly like the program and wouldn't do the necessary work to promote it. We started out with three therapist and we were down to two. I got a referral from a county we hadn't worked for and I was so excited because this could save the program if the county was impressed by my work and then begin referring more families.

The family didn't like me and it was probably my own fault. I typically saw a couple first before including the kids. It gave me a good picture of where things were at. Did they see the same problem? How was the problem affecting their relationship? I could fill a page with such queries. Many times I didn't need to see the whole family as the kids were acting out the marital drama and as the parents dealt with their issues the kids got better. In fact, usually.

Well in this case I was so enamored with my goal I didn't fully appreciate where they were at. They certainly didn't feel any need for therapy for themselves. They just had an obnoxious kid and their county social worker pressured them into seeing me. It was a shame as I was especially good at getting folks like this on board. I was blinded by a goal I had rather than being genuinely with this couple.

Without this counties participation our program was doomed to failure. They didn't give me a second chance. I was devastated. I had hoped to work for this agency for the rest of my life. It was just a matter of days after that I got a call from Anoka County offering me a job doing in-home family therapy for their Intake Department. Every couple years I was promoted until I was Project Manager for Family and Children Services. That is where I belonged. I retired eleven years later.

Whether it is a small thing in our life or big thing, we cannot SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE.

As we go through life, and it unfolds in front of us we can only accept it, as it is for us. It is for us, even when we cannot see why. Our choice is always to choose love.

We always come back to that, life gives us a continual opportunity to choose love.

CHOOSE LOVE!

HAPPY MONDAY!

Love and Peace, Gregg