RESISTANCE TO LOVE

It was above zero F, on awakening this Morning, for the first time in a few days. Nice, It was only one or two degrees, but that is a nice departure from 17 to 21 below that it has been. It is now 10:30AM and it is 10.2F, a heat wave.

I want to describe how I have been feeling lately. I am not sure I can. I feel a gloom or shadow. Partly because of the conditions in the world. It is like I keep expecting another shoe to drop. I want the dark to be over their machinations and I want to see some relief from the craziness. Then, I have some other concerns; I have a close relative with health problems and Jamie is up and down in her healing process. These things may weigh on me; but are they really the cause of the gloom I experience off and on?

It seems like I can choose to feel good. If I pay attention to my mood, I can usher in happiness. Yet, my fallback position doesn't feel happy.

We go through changes in life, sometimes we have a period of darkness right before we break through to a new level of light.

I was just reading, that most of us are resistant to love, in some degree or other. We have been programmed for eons that it doesn't really exist, or if it does, we are not worthy. A deep conviction of unworthiness, even self-loathing, is a prevalent condition of human kind. Love scares us. We don't trust it. It feels like giving up control.

Could that be me? It is not particularly conscious, but I am sure, if this condition inflicts others, it must inflict me. At a conscious level, I love myself, but I know from the thoughts that can pass through, that there is more to it than that. As determined as we are to rid ourselves of the past, embarrassing thoughts etc. can reoccur with regularity. Some of us, have huge breakthroughs, and leap ahead in their awareness, for others, raising consciousness is like wearing a way a stone. I am the latter. I accept it. I have been eroding the stone for a long, long time.

The cure for this condition is to own up to it. We can tell ourselves, “I may have some resistance to experiencing love.” Some things might occur to ourselves, from past experiences, that verify this. Even so, we can do something about it. We can experience love. I know we can. I do it. Just not enough.

I can sit and imagine being surrounded by love and let it elevate me to a new level of consciousness. It is the same thing that happens in meditation. It is meditation. It is finding that place of silence. That quiet place. Even if it only last seconds, it is very valuable to feel the love that surrounds us. The universe is love. We can turn to, that quiet place inside us, at any time.

It occurs to me that I [we perhaps] resist the love coming from others. I hate to admit this, to all and sundry, but I have felt threatened by the the love coming from someone. It is like a beam of light coming at me and instead of being open to it, I throw up a barrier. Eeeeeek!

I know Love is growing in the World. I know the darkness is attenuating. I have faith that we will overcome. I do expect light to dominate 2016.

If we are to do our best work; we must love ourselves. Not just once in a while, all the time. Let us open our hearts and minds. Let us let the light in. We can give up our resistance to love. Is it so hard to face the fact, THAT WE ARE LOVE.

Love and Peace, Gregg