OUR ATTACHMENT TO UNWORTHINESS

I am late writing this to day. It was time to go to the feed store. I usually will write in the Morning and do those kinds of chores in the afternoon. However, this Morning I wanted to mull over the topic for today. The idea came to me this Morning and I realized what a significant subject it is.

Some level of the feeling of unworthiness is universal. The reason is not hard to spot. From the time we left the womb we were carefully taught we are unworthy. Most of us try to break the chain and raise our children without shame or guilt. Some of us are fairly successful. Then we have the larger culture. Imbuing children with a sense of unworthiness and exploiting it, is the major method of control by our social institutions. For most teachers, ministers, priest etc. it is not a conscious process and they may be affronted if it was suggested they did so. We pass on our problem with unworthiness whether we like it or not.

We can divide our feelings of unworthiness in two rather rough categories. Those who are primarily ashamed and those who primarily feel guilty. Those of us who feel guilty think we are unworthy because of certain acts we performed. Those of us who feel ashamed feel our very being is bad.

The guilty can correct their behavior and change the way they act. The ashamed must give up the idea they learned about their being.

I feel it is important to insert at this point that shame and guilt are utter nonsense. They are methods of control and not real. It is important to understand this intellectually, despite their feeling of reality in our illusion.

This subject is difficult to address in a blog. Yet I know the Holiday season is the right time to do it. When everybody is being joyous and we are just pretending, something is wrong. We may not be aware that we feel unworthy. As we grow and discover those are not good feelings to have, instead of growing out of them, we may hide them from ourselves as unacceptable.

This blog is about our attachment to unworthiness. Unworthiness is painful. It is so horrible why would anybody hang on to it? We can list a thousand reasons why we should give up our sense of unworthiness. Can we find the reason why we would hang on to it?

Let us start with a default position. Some of us who raised ourselves from painful beginnings and feel like we have done a pretty good job of growing up and we did; still have that hurt confused child deep inside us. When threatened we can resort to our default position. This confused child has been smoothed out, it is not real obvious to us. We can resort to our default position and only be aware of some defensiveness.

Part of getting use to feeling bad about ourselves, is learning to control others, with the very feelings our adult selves say we would like to grow out of. Some people are afraid of giving up the power they have, to use shame and guilt, to control others.

When we have an inability to stay happy, we are into some version of an unworthiness program. When we find ourselves persistently falling back into the glooms, we must ask ourselves why we are hanging onto our unworthiness. With some of us its familiar. We identify the feeling with who we are. That is how we negotiate the world. If we feel it is part of our connection with others, as guilt can be, it may feel giving up the feeling is giving up connection.

If we have had difficulty in maintaining our happiness. We need to be honest with ourselves. Ask,"What is in it for me to feel unworthy?" Honestly confronting ourselves will facilitate growth.

So what is the answer? Love is the answer. This is not a simplistic solution. It is the only solution. We need to love ourselves. We need to find out how to love ourselves. Loving ourselves means being kind to ourselves. Loving ourselves means not torturing ourselves with thoughts. Loving ourselves means giving up a past we cannot change. Loving ourselves means giving up fear in any form.

We are on a learning planet. We are learning what love is. Love will take us through the learning we need, to give up our sense of unworthiness, once and for all.

It is helpful to suggest to ourselves frequently that we are Love. With intent and focus we can learn to feel the love flowing through us. Meditation is very helpful in finding that place inside us that is vast and quiet; utterly peaceful.

Remember we are one. Learning to love ourselves is learning to love everyone. We can best give up our own sense of unworthiness by seeing the worthiness in everybody else.

Happiness is our natural state. Don't settle for less.

Love and Peace,  Gregg