AN OPEN LETTER TO MY BROTHER GARTH

Dear Garth,

Saturday Morning, Arlene called Jamie and said you were in the hospital all week. She said that the cancer has spread throughout your body and there may even be a mass in your heart. She said you were willing to have visitors. Jamie suggested we visit Sunday. I told her we would see what Sunday brings. Since then, I have been writing this letter, to you, in my mind.

After our last conversation, I realized you were saying goodbye to me. You were accepting and peaceful and you said, “I am sorry I have such bad news.” I was taken back by your apology. I gradually realized you were saying goodbye to me. In the following weeks you did not want visitors. I respect that.

How do I say goodbye to someone who came into my life when I was fourteen months old? I seem to remember when we were both in diapers. I was two plus, perhaps, and you were just learning to walk. You have always been right over my shoulder; just a glance away. Even when you were not there physically; all that I had to do, was think of you, and I would know your presence. I don't ask you to delay your departure. I know there is greater wisdom, than I have, that determines the time we leave this planet.

But we shared this planet for almost eighty years; I will be able to go on without you, but there will be a hole in my life, for awhile. Perhaps when you have explored your new plane of existence you will come back and visit sometimes. I could use an extra guide. I need a strong nudge in the right direction on some occasions.

I think our sojourn in this life is short. Too short, to appreciate all we are learning. We are learning the meaning of Love. We are learning to be kind to each other. We are learning, Love is Oneness. We are learning the golden rule is not a recommendation, it is law. What we do to others we do to ourselves and vice versa. But this is not a place to be preachy. You know all that, as well as I do. It was by watching great beings of love, like you, that I was able to confirm the truth of it.

Yes, I will miss you but it is okay. Say hello, for me, to our relatives and friends who passed before. I think I will be staying on this planet for awhile longer. I have some important work to do. I can use all the help from the other side that I can get.

My heart goes out to your wife and children. I will be here for them if they need someone to talk to. They are strong, loving beings. They will be all right.

I may have a chance to see you before you leave. If I don't, perhaps someone could read this to you.

Thank you very, very much for sharing this life with me for nearly eighty years. I love you very much.

Your Loving Brother, Gregg

A BREAK FROM BLOGGING

I have been thinking of taking a break from blogging and this is a good time. I am sure it won't be longer than a week or so.

I would like to write more about our need for healing/learning centers. I am especially concerned about our need to get more acquainted with Nature and how we can live in greater rhythm with the Earth. I will be thinking about these things.

If something comes up that I want to address, I will; otherwise, I will be back at this station in a week or ten day.

Love and Peace,  Gregg

THINGS COME UP

Another Monday, situations emerged, that needed my attention and kept me out of my blogging chair. It is 2:45PM now, and I have dishes to wash and chores to do.

I would probably just prattle on about some nonsense anyway. The world is mad and I can't make heads or tails out of it.

Well, we have to accept life as it comes to us and embrace and love it.

I assume I will be here Wednesday.

Love and Peace, Gregg

A DRIZZLY DAY

February seems to be giving in to Spring. It hasn't been below freezing for over twenty four hours. It is 38.3 degrees F at this moment. There is a promise it will get close to 50. Without Sun the snow doesn't melt very fast. It is raining or I should say drizzling. I am eager to see the ground again. It is a little early to lose our snow cover; but hey, it is almost March. Anything can happen in March! I have experienced it being -40F and I have experienced it 80F.

That reminds me of my brother Garth. It brought a momentary sense of sadness, I need to call him for an update. His birthday is March 12. One time, during one of our more lengthy Winters, he said, “the weather is usually warm enough to have a picnic on my birthday.” I could recall all the below zero weather, and snow up to our butts, but not much picnic weather. For years after, I reminded him, on his birthday about his comment, when the weather was Wintry. Then in 1974, we had a stretch of warm weather in early March and Garth and Arlene arranged a picnic, for the family, at Columbia Park. It was a beautiful warm day and the party was a great success. It doesn't happen often, but it can happen. In 1949 Spring came in early March and it didn't get cold again.

We could use an early Spring. If Spring is late I will have to buy more hay, but more importantly, I long for the new lush growth and the feeling of the Sun.

Time has been flying for me, but Winter still feels forever. It is hard to remember when we could walk over the whole yard and were not restricted to paths through the snow. We don't have much snow, but it is very tightly packed, and will not melt in a hurry.

Of course, I am more alert for signs of Spring in the world. I see glimmers, of the increasing love in the world, and the folks I meet are certainly waking up; but, the main stream media, it is awful. One would think we are at doomsday's door every time we turn on the television. There are all kinds of indications we are waking up; but we need to look for them. The strongest indication, I see, are the strangers I meet every time I go to town. People greet each other with alacrity and everyone is willing to share a smile or share a joke. There is friendliness and love coming from complete strangers. It is, as if, folks know something, they may not even know they know it; but a new way of being is on the horizon. We don't have to live in fear anymore!

At the same time the love and sense of oneness is increasing, individuals will have moments of struggle. It is time, we lay down our egos. Egos don't like that. They defend our separateness. In our interpersonal relationships, especially the close ones, our unresolved issues are manifesting. Paradoxically, as every thing gets better, conflict may arise in close relationships. All the doubts, we have about ourselves being loving persons, will emerge one way or another. Do we really deserve to live in paradise? Are we really entitled to love? Do we really know what love is?

We need to accept the fact that we are not perfect. We are in the process of growing. We are just discovering the meaning of LOVE. We thought we knew. We have rough edges. Don't get discouraged when your rough edges, collide with the rough edges, of your partner. It will happen! Practice forgiveness as a reflex. Forgive automatically, especially yourself. We will get through this; love will out.

There is a Bright Shining Day! It is almost here! We will have a picnic!

Love and Peace, Gregg

WORRY

 

I just got in from doing the chores. The Sun is warm and sparkling. It is cool, 16 degrees F, it was quite cold at night, low single digits. It gets warm enough now, that the chicken coop charges up enough energy, that the water doesn't freeze at night. I was surprised to find the water unfrozen because it was cloudy yesterday. But, that is February for you, we turn a corner and the Sun is suddenly hotter. It is going to be warmer the rest of the week, but cloudy according to the forecast.

I have been worrying lately. Big things and little things. I know how silly worrying is. If anything, we bring about what we worry about, by giving attention and energy to it. We are so programmed to be responsible [albeit in an irresponsible way] that we confuse worrying with being responsible. We can give up worrying but our egos will resist. The ego is control. It doesn't like giving up the helm. The ego tries to convince us that it is sensible-but it makes no sense- it is nonsense.

If we keep in mind that we need to be good to ourselves, we will be watchful of what kind of thought we entertain. If a thought disturbs our peace, we don't need it. When we find ourselves worrying we can substitute a thought of peace, or better yet, merriment. What makes us smile? What makes us laugh? What image brought to mind will bring a smile to our faces? We can program ourselves to have a happy image every time our mind falls into worry.

I am usually pretty good at avoiding worry; but, a collection of concerns turned to worry yesterday and I did a double whammy on myself. First I suffered with the effects of worrying, then I castigated myself for worrying because I know better. That is the ego's favorite operation. First it seduces you into a thought or behavior, then criticizes you for it. It didn't last very long, and on the way up to bed, I had to chuckle at what I was doing to myself.

In this world, it is difficult to always keep our minds in the 'now'. But when our minds are thrown into the future, it just as easy to believe in a good ending, as a bad ending. Sure, we will have some things that don't turn out the way we want. Why should we suffer in the meantime contemplating it? Giving up worry, not only raises our vibration, but everybody else's around you.

Let us be good to ourselves today. Replace all the little worrisome thoughts with happy thoughts and replace those big worries with, out and out, merriment. We will be glad we did.

Love and Peace, Gregg

A PLEASANT MONDAY

It is cloudy, but a pleasant day, it is 37.2 degrees F, a nice relief from the cold. It is Monday. My Mondays have been full of unexpected events lately and I have postponed blogging on a few of them. This is not one of them. Everything is quiet and predictable. No chaos, no excitement, no unexpected errands; but I have been sitting here for about an hour without a thought about what I should blog about.

On Friday, I said I would discuss the world situation. I don't want to. I don't know what is going on. Last week the world's markets were crashing and the price of gold began to soar. Today, it looks like a recovery is under way. It makes no sense. There has been no fundamental change. I don't know of anything that would inspire optimism. All indications are that the economic system, as we have known it, is crumbling.

Civilizations come and go. Empires rise and fall. It is no surprise to many of us that we are watching the collapse of the old world order, based on competition, greed, uncontrolled capitalism, domination of a few, and the elevation of power and money. Most of us, living on planet Earth, are eager to see it go.

We are tired of racism, sexism, nationalism and all the other isms that keep us from realizing our unity and love for each other. We know our dream of a sane world exist behind this illusion of separation. We know when we remove our support for the old world order, it must collapse.

How do we remove our support? What can we do? First accept one idea, the tired old world that is passing is built on FEAR. Fear, big fears, little fears, fears of all kinds. We have been manipulated endlessly with fear. Fear of other sexes, other races, other nationalities, other religions, foreigners, other ways of bringing up children, different educational ideas, any differences at all. We had been parsed and divided endlessly to the point where, honest to goodness, real trust in each other, was becoming rare.

At some point we turned the corner. We recognized that a world of love could manifest. We began to question why we should be afraid of each other. We began to see through the veil of craziness and separation, offered to us, by the ones who would be in control. We don't wish to judge anybody else. We wish to appreciate and love all differences. We don't want to respond, to the invitations of fear, like a bull responds to the red cape. No, no, no, we want to be free. We want to love. We don't want to be crazy anymore!

We remove support from the old world, by refusing to give it any emotional attention. We must ignore all invitations to be afraid. Money/power have invaded all areas of our culture. Fear is used to make money in science, medicine, agriculture, education, everything. I will be happy to give examples if one has any doubt about this. But I don't want any of us to think about it too much. It doesn't help much to examine the rotten corpse of the old world. We only need to do it, to find out, we don't want to do it any more.

We have a new world to dream. Let us focus on love and forgiveness. Let us look for the shining light in everyone. Let's use our energy to discover who we are. It is time for the illusion of separation to end. It is time to discover our Oneness.

Love and Peace, Gregg

A WINTRY DAY

From the view outside my window, it is a most beautiful day. The Sun is shining brightly on the glistening snow. It looks inviting. Perhaps it is, my sheep were lined up against the far pasture fence, protected from the wind by the shelter belt, they were soaking in the Sun, they looked happy. Sheep are sheep though and humans humans. I just got back from doing the chores and it is hard to believe how cold it feels. It was about 4 degrees F, that is normally comfortable on a Sunny day. But the wind, it is a fierce blast, howling down from the North. It is not a day for outside activity. It is forecast to be 18 below zero tonight.

I will stay in my cozy home, with a cup of coffee at my elbow, writing this blog. I don't have to go out until I do the afternoon chores; that consist of getting the eggs and checking on the sheep. We started getting more eggs. The hens laid seven on Wednesday and five yesterday. They should keep increasing until April, when we will get 20 plus a day. It is hard to predict, as we have several old hens that will only lay sporadically.

We have a group of five deer come into our yard everyday. Xina barks at them ferociously, but they seem to know she is harmless. When we had bigger dogs, the deer would avoid walking through the yard, now they come right up to the house. Last week we had 13 wild turkeys walk right by our living room window. I love seeing wildlife from my window. I don't particularly enjoy seeing the deer chew on my apple trees.

Life is life. It comes at us continually and we can only marvel at it and love it as best we can. Things and people come and go. We are only commuters looking out on the landscape. We can attempt to keep our distance as we go through it, or we can greet every experience with open arms. The more we put in to it, the more gratifying it is. We are here to learn what love is and we do!

This will be a short blog today. Next week I will discuss more about the happenings in the world; at least, I think I will.

Celebrate! Love is growing!

Love and Peace, Gregg

LIFE AND LIFE

Mondays have been strange lately. Something seems to come up to interfere with blogging. Monday was a bit chaotic, but the main thing keeping me from blogging, was a preoccupation with a close family members health issue. It was ever present and I didn't think I could blog about anything else. He is a private person and I thought writing about his situation may not be appropriate. After mulling it over for three days, I decided it is appropriate.

About a month ago, my younger brother, Garth, showed symptoms that could be bladder cancer. He sought help on the very day he showed symptoms and it was thought it would be easily managed. I researched bladder cancer and discovered that it has a very favorable cure rate, when discovered early, 85% and better. I did note there was at least one variety that had a very poor prognosis. I was very reassured, but had reservations.

I heard through the grapevine things may not be going as well as expected.

I called him on Saturday. It turns out he has the most aggressive form of bladder cancer and it has already metastasized and is in one lung, besides other parts of his body. Pain medication has not been very effective and he was in considerable discomfort. His doctor told him, there was no hope for a cure and chemo therapy might give him a little more time.

On the positive side, he was peaceful and even accepting of the situation. He apologized to me for giving me such bad news.

At the moment of this writing he is back in the hospital.

Garth is more accepting of this 'end of life' drama than I am.

When I look back at my life, I realize I have been very fortunate in my experience of death. Both of my parents died in their sleep. They wanted to go and there was more relief than sadness in their passing. I have had several friends die and some were a great shock, at the time; but I could see the sense it made and didn't question their decision. Of course, there was always some passing grief.

My older brother, and his wife, both died last year. The deaths were expected, in that they followed years of debilitation. Both of these deaths had a powerful impact; but then, more relief than sadness.

How is it different with Garth? First, although he will be 80, March 12^th, he is my younger brother. He is not supposed to die! He has never been sick, that I know of. We haven't seen each other very often; but, I always felt a closeness that wasn't diminished by the infrequency of our contact. I have always loved him very deeply.

I grieve for myself, for his wife, and his children.

I honor his decision to leave. I know death is not real. I know it is just a transition from this space to another. I will see him again.

And wait a minute; he is still with us. Miracles happen! Maybe he will stay with us awhile.

I love you, Garth.

Love and Peace, Gregg

KEEP DREAMING

When I awoke this Morning it was only .6 degrees above zero F. Two hours later it was 14, already. The same thing happened yesterday Morning. I don't know how common it is to rise 13 plus degrees in two hours. Weather, still surprises me, after surviving 81 years on the planet. It is 22.2 degrees F, now, at 10:28AM.

I, already, did the Morning chores, including the dishes. We had a birthday dinner for Noah last night and I thought I would get things cleaned up before I blogged. Usually, I will set up the dishes in the sink and finish the wash after I am done blogging. I figured that the hot soapy water would be cool and uninviting if I waited. Okay, why am I telling you this and doesn't that usually happen? I get myself explaining things that nobody cares about. Today, there was an existing amount of cold water in the sink [I set the dishes up last night] before I added hot this Morning. So, the water wasn't as hot as usual.

A sane man would erase the foregoing paragraph, but sanity escapes me. To continue: Naomi and Elijah came over from St Cloud to wish Noah a Happy Birthday. We had a nice birthday dinner; t bone steak, baked potatoes and an avocado salad [loaded with garlic and other wonderful things]. Elijah had school today, so they had to leave fairly early. However, we had a great time.

What should we talk about today? We either realize the world, as we knew it, is crumbling around us or we don't. Those of us, who don't know it, may be in for a surprise. Those, who are aware, will help those who have not yet seen what is happening.

The first thing to go, will be our economic system. It needs to go. It is corrupt, cruel and heartless, and even if it was 'okay' in a moral sense, it is completely unsustainable. It is based on debt, and there is not enough money in the entire world, to make a dent in the obligation. Although, obligation is a strange word. Why should a person, born on this planet, already owe money? Why should a person, born on this planet, have to work for someone else for his/her survival? This beautiful planet could easily be a paradise for all. How is it, that we are born, indentured servants, to a corrupt power structure who will do anything to maintain control? Shouldn't we be free beings, in the paradise, that is planet Earth? How could we have been so blind?

Many, many of us are waking up. We have decided to withdraw our energy from the corrupt world. Without our cooperation it cannot continue. We are dreaming of a sane world. We are dreaming of a loving world. We are envisioning people, working the land again, to provide wholesome, and truly organic, foods. We are anticipating, the introduction of suppressed inventions, that will provide needed energy, for homeowners, at very little cost. We are imagining the end of the Earth's exploitation and are seeing how we could live in harmony with our Mother.

We are planning how we can provide education to children that will enhance their freedom rather than prepare them for slavery. We are wondering how we are going to provide excellent medical services, to all, without cost.

We look forward to the time when science, medicine, agriculture, education, and religion are free from the profit motive, and the corruption of ego.

We look forward to standing, in awe, on the Earth, and appreciating its beauty and magnificence. We look with amazement at a glorious universe. We see what is, rather than what we have been programmed to see. We marvel at creation and seek knowing the Source of all.

In the meantime, we have to do our best to get through some chaotic times. We will do okay. We need to keep our dreams alive. We need to keep love alive. We will do it!

Love and Peace, Gregg

A SNOWY MORNING

The worst of the blizzard was to the South of us, we had a lot of drifting, but probably, only five inches of new snow. It is hard to gauge, because there is only an inch or two in some places and over a foot in others.

When I first got up I was dreading it. I didn't want to start the day, blowing paths, so I could do the chores. I drank my coffee and did my crossword puzzle and I had a little cloud hanging over my head. I cheered up, and Xina and I, went out {yes, I have my dog back}. I blew a path out to the chicken coop and a potty path for Xina. She doesn't like to squat in the snow. My snowblower went on the fritz before I was have way done, and I had to shovel a path out to the driveway and garage.

I wanted to assess how bad the driveway needed plowing. Noah came home last evening as the storm was abating, his tracks were covered; but, I didn't think the snow was very deep for the whole length. Our driveway is a tenth of a mile long or about a city block. When I reached the garage, I decided to take the van and make a few passes up and down the driveway. Once I was in the van I thought, “why not go to Ogilvie and get the paper.” I did.

When I got home, I discovered I worried Jamie. The last thing I said to her was that the snowblower was on the fritz, and I would need to shovel. She said that she looked out the window, from time to time, to see if I was okay, and I vanished. She said she was about ready to call the first responders, when she noticed the car tracks coming out of the garage. It crossed my mind, that that could happen; but, she was ensconced in the back room, on her computer, and I thought, I would be back home, before she knew I was gone. I didn't want to come back in the house and announce I was going. I won't do that again. When one is over eighty, and shoveling snow, things can happen. Actually, it was not heart attack snow. It was easy to shovel and I had a beautiful Morning.

The little cloud, over my head, dissipated immediately upon going outside. It is such a marvelously, beautiful day. Bright Sun! I even let the chickens out, thinking one or two of them, would brave walking in the snow.

I don't have much to say today; except to keep looking for the light and pass it on. I didn't need to have that little cloud over my head this Morning. I was scaring myself into thinking that I wasn't going to enjoy the Morning activity. Let us not look for trouble. Stay focused in the moment and love everything.

There are great changes happening in the world. We don't need to be disturbed by them. The light is bright at the end of the tunnel. Fear is our only enemy. To the degree, we can eschew fear, is the degree we will be peaceful. Peace is love. Peace is happiness.

Love and Peace, Gregg

EVEN COCKLEBURS TEACH US

It is now 3:19PM. I thought I was getting a late start when I sat down here before Noon. I was late because I had an appointment to get my haircut at 9:45. Then I went to town to get the paper. When I got home I set up the dishes, stacked them in the sink, and covered them with hot sudsy water. Then I had to have something to eat. I sat down here, and read a few things, and just as I was going to type the first line, Jamie asked me if I would go to the Amish with her to get milk. Off and on, she needs to favor her shoulder which hasn't completely healed from the dislocation.

Our dog, Xina, who has been a light in my life these last few months, has been upset with me. I am her favorite person and her source of protection. Whenever somebody comes over she jumps in my lap until she feels safe. She goes with me, whenever I go out to do the chores. If I am going out and she can't go with, I need to tell her. She understands and if I go out, without speaking to her, she barks and cries pitifully.

That was until yesterday Morning. When we were coming back from the chicken coop, I noticed she had about three cockleburs in her tail. I knew they bothered her, because every other step she tried to catch then in her teeth. I wanted to get them out before they became further embedded. I grabbed her, she of course tucked her tail underneath. When I uncurled her tail she cried bloody murder and even snapped at me. I think she was more frightened than hurt. I can't believe anything I was doing was painful. The whole thing lasted about five seconds and I wasn't very successful in removing the burs.

She wouldn't have anything to do with me for hours. She took refuge in Jamie's lap and she has never wanted to sit in her lap before. She didn't want to be in the same room with me and wouldn't even eat a delicacy that I put down for her. It was as if, I betrayed her trust, and that was it. I did, what I knew to do, to repair the breech. I held her in my lap for awhile; she shivered and eventually calmed down. When I let her down, because I had to get up, she went back to being skittish. Her behavior was so dramatic that I feared our relationship was permanently damaged. By the late evening chores, after dark when I close up the chicken coop, she was a little better. With urging she went out with me. Normally, she anticipates my move, and is waiting at the door before I get there.

This Morning our relationship was better but she was still unsure. As the day progresses, she seems to be going back to her old self. I think I will get my dog back. A lot of fuss over three cockleburs. There must be a lesson here somewhere.

I got my amaryllis potted yesterday. I have five that may be blooming size, three for sure. I, also, have a nursery pot of five offspring bulbs. I have been raising amaryllis for forty years and when I get too many I give some away. I don't want more than four or five, but I don't like letting the little bulbets go unplanted. About June first, I take them out of the pots and plant them in the garden. They need to be tended carefully, the big ones and the little ones. The big ones need to maintain their size or increase slightly. The little ones need to grow to blooming size. Every year I vow to take better care of them over the Summer. Sometimes I don't see them again until I dig them in the Fall. There has to be a lesson here too; but we have been doing this dance for forty years. The amaryllis forgive me and brighten up the house in February with giant blooms.

Have a good Evening!

Love and Peace, Gregg